Spank and Domination makes me feel alive

This article can really go over the limit for some of the readers, but for those who actually like this, it can be erotic or just an “open true opinion” to understand some of the “whys” that you all have constantly inside your heads. Or, maybe I am completely wrong and this is just my “fucking” opinion about the subject!

In fact I do really appreciate this king of practice, and I am very clear talking about BDSM, I do love to play Slave & Master (SM), walking on my knees like a dog, being spanked by the one that I trust carefully to do it, that one that I trust my body and mind. This kind of actions, are much more than just pain, more than make me feel something or even more than be submissive. For me, is more like a test, is a limits bending session and is even a learning process of my own body, of my signs, an learningship of my mind, as well good for my relax and soul. Respecting the other side of the game, the tribute and acceptance of his orders and the devotion for his wishes or orders, submission for everything else that can happen…

I remember that once I was with my master, yes I am the slave, the dog, the one who take the pain and the one who must fight against it, anyway, I remember being with my master and he asked me in a ironic tone if that was too much, my body was already crawling but my first reaction after a very deep inhale, was head up, eyes on eyes and I answer — “Did you already start?”

This kind of attitude can immediately bring a punishment or a sign of disrespect to my owner, what can end the game there. So you must understand very well when you can say it and understand your master too. Body language, breath, and other movements are the rich source of your knowledge, and I do love study this kind of things. I like to bend my limits over the pain, my favorite game is in fact try to understand how powerful can be my mind to the point of acceptance of the pain, go over it and be able to provocate for more, knowing that need focus and a very stabilized line that can’t shake a bit or be unsure.

I find this “funny”, I find this crazy and I can imagine what you thinking of my right now, that I am ridiculous to write openly about it, or that I am sick. But I rather think when my master express that is proud of me because he was not expecting that I actually can stand so much, or that I upgrade to the next level, or even that I am probably better than others from the past.

Is all a game to get my acceptance and my admiral from another one? Sometimes I also think about this, sometimes I try to understand but I must say, I am a control-freak, and I do control everything in my life, and that game can be the ultimate control, I am controlling myself, my pain, my mind and my body on the edge, and I even can control my master with provocations and punishments. Please understand punishment as part of the game and nothing necessarily rude.

I found myself on these situations searching for the love that I don’t have, I try to find the “well done” that I don’t listen, and the physical touch that I dream with. When you trust someone else to the point of physical trust and in some cases even life trust, you do create a strong relation, you feel loved, you feel that someone cares and you feel touched, and not touched on a sexual way, you actual feel alive. I do realize recently too, that this pain help me to go over problems from real life like broken hearts, stress and others. When I walk on my knees always on the side on the legs of my master, like his dog, I do feel that I have someone else there that is much more interested in me than just sex, when I blur my face on his legs or boots calling attention I know that attention exist and I can get it, I always have a feedback or a response from the other player, and this fill in fact the empty places of my needs. I do believe that being a master is more and less the same, a question of fill empty places of needs that we can’t do outside on a normal ordinary world.

At last but not least, I want make very clear that do not have to take place any kind of penetration, sexual activity that involve your genitals, this is not a sex game, is much more than that, is not a sex date or a fuck buddy. And I don’t like sex dates, I will not stand up out of the couch when outside are almost negative temperatures to get fucked or so, by a stranger, I do really give more importance to touch than to be used. And that is my way to feel the things, to live my life… and it is working.

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