Good News…Sprinkled with Pain and Unanswered Questions

So…I don’t think I told you all…but my birth certificate was updated with my new legal name and gender on October 31st. I did post it on social media but forgot to share it on my blog. Best…feeling…ever! Now to get my passport updated…and I think that will be it — finally!

That was the good news. Now here’s the not-so-good news…and the thing that is keeping me up at night — that I can’t get out of my mind.

Years ago I lost a lot of weight…and because of that, I ended up having a tummy tuck (abdominoplasty). Well…apparently that tummy tuck combined with the FtM Top Surgery causes some people (and of course I’m one of them) to develop abdominal lymphedema. For those of you who may not know what that is: Lymphedema is a build-up of lymph fluid in the fatty tissues just under your skin. This build-up might also be called obstruction and cause swelling and discomfort. I have a severe case that is very uncomfortable during the day…and by the end of each day is really painful and makes me look like I’m 7 months pregnant. I’ve tried exercise and that doesn’t help. Massage doesn’t seem to help. And I’m at a loss as to what to do about it. Not only is it uncomfortable and painful, but I look rather deformed. This lymphedema combined with my chest, which is still a long way from being 100% healed (and will probably require some reconstructive surgery) — well it’s not something I want to see when I look in the mirror. Wearing a shirt doesn’t even hide it, b/c it bulges out.

Now I’m not saying I had ripped abs prior to the surgery, but I did have a pretty flat stomach. Now this is what I have to look forward to every day…and it gets worse as the day goes on.

I have to find something…someone to help reduce or get rid of this lymphedema altogether…but I don’t even know where to start. My surgeon has only seen it twice. And she thought for sure it would have at least gotten better by now. But it hasn’t.

Something has got to give…and soon! I can’t deal with this for another six months — a year. I simply can’t.

If anyone has any suggestions or knows someone who might be able to help, please let me know. I’m willing to do just about anything right now. 😢😭😟

Liam