My White Privilege — Taking the Blinders Off

This is an article that I recently posted on LinkedIn, and though it has nothing to do with my FTM transition, it is in and of itself somewhat of a transition for me.

I was asked by one of my LinkedIn connections to share this post on another platform, so that more people would be able to access it and hopefully learn from it.

Over the past few months, I’ve had to take a long, hard look at myself — and my white privilege. Yes, I said it…my white privilege. I’m SO ASHAMED that it’s taken me so long to get here. In my self-reflection/soul-searching, I experienced a number of emotions — hurt, sadness, outrage, anger, shame, disgust, guilt, and more. I used my entire session with my therapist Saturday to talk about this. My heart is truly broken for my fellow human beings and our country.

I have been guilty:

• Of denying my white privilege.
• Of believing that “reverse racism” is actually a real thing.

I’ve been WRONG, and I am committed to doing better, being better, listening, learning, standing up, and speaking up.

Yes, it’s easy for me to post my support (and my outrage) on social media. It’s easy for me to say, “but I have black friends”. It’s easy for me to vocalize how much I care about and love all my friends — regardless of race, gender, etc. — but words aren’t enough. It’s time for action.

These words from one of my friends have played over and over in my head. “I’ve learned that a lot of what I was taught in school was not 100% factual. I’ve learned that I absolutely benefit from my privilege. I’ve learned that I can use my privilege to help my black and brown friends. I’ve learned that silence and apathy from white people is actually a huge part of the problem of why this hatred and racism still exist in our country. To be silent is to be complicit. You are either racist or anti-racist. And if you are anti-racist, it’s beyond time for you to step up to the plate. If you use the hashtag #AllLivesMatter or say “I don’t see color”, YOU are part of the problem.”

WE HAVE TO HAVE an America where every person can be accepted and live FREE from FEAR. And I need to do my part in helping us get there. It’s not enough for me or any white person to just say we are not racist, we need to be proactively anti-racist. We need to do the hard work, have the difficult conversations with our family members and friends, and not be afraid of making mistakes. Our support, and how we show up is crucial. It’s vital that we choose action over silence.

If you feel guilty about not doing enough — Speak up. Listen. Learn. Educate. Do something…something other than just talking about it. Words have meaning, but actions inspire change.

As Chloe Laws states in a recent article -

“I’ve never feared police brutality. I am seen as an individual, and never held personally responsible for the actions of other people from my race. Day-to-day, I don’t notice my race, because the color of my skin is seen as the default in society. But this doesn’t and shouldn’t negate white ignorance. Racism isn’t just something only racists have inside them. Everyone does. Every single white person has benefited from a system that upholds white people. Every time we’ve chosen silence over action, we normalise and unconsciously uphold racism.”

I’ve read a couple of the books on this list — most recently Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson. I need to put every other book aside right now and focus on these. If you want to DO SOMETHING, start by reading one of these books. Even better, get a group of people together, read a book, and discuss it.

What else can we do? I’ve talked with my therapist, performed Google searches, and asked friends. Here are some suggestions.

• How to Support the Struggle Against Police Brutality
• 75 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice
• Visit the Black Lives Matter website. Subscribe. Watch and listen to the resources. Shop. Donate.
• Sit down and have a conversation with a person of color. LISTEN with an open mind and an open heart.
• Talk to your kids. Teach your children that racism and prejudice (in any form) is wrong. Teach them love, tolerance and acceptance. Teach them to judge others by the content of their character — not by the color of their skin. Teach them and model anti-racism. Focus on empathy. If parents treat people unfairly based on differences, children will repeat what they see. Be conscious of your words and your actions.
• Teach tolerance. Speak up to the people closest to you — friends and family members. If bigoted behavior was accepted in your childhood home, explain to your family that you do not subscribe to that way of thinking.
• Commit to learning more. Education, exposure, and awareness are important factors in moving from prejudice to understanding and acceptance. Create these opportunities for yourself.
• 10 Actions You Can Take To Promote Racial Justice In The Workplace

We all need one another. It doesn’t matter what you look like or where you’re from. It doesn’t matter what your religion is or what language you speak. What matters is HOW WE TREAT EACH OTHER. It sounds simple, doesn’t it — we all just love each other. Yet all too often the messaging is overshadowed by poor judgment and decision making. Look at someone’s heart — not their skin, and really see who they are.

I echo and stand by the words of our CEO, Chuck Robbins, “We need to challenge bigotry, racism, and injustice. We all need to do more. Statements of support are very nice, but they actually don’t change anything. It’s time for us to ACT. “

This is my promise to every single person of color. Though I may not fully understand all that you’ve been through and all that you’re going through, and though I have not walked in your shoes…

I’m here to listen, to talk, to stand by you and with you. Let me know what you need. You have my solemn promise that I will no longer be a bystander.