The Countdown is On (and a bit of rambling)
Two more sleeps and it’s SURGERY DAY! I’m super excited…but I’m equally as nervous. I was already pretty nervous, but since my last blog, I found out that my wife can’t even come into the hospital with me — Thanks, COVID! So, I’ll be going through this all alone. Scary, huh?
Wanna know more about FTM Top Surgery, watch this YouTube video:
I will have drains that will stay in for a week and will have to wear a zip-up compression vest for four weeks.
And apparently I’m going to have T-Rex arms for at least a couple of weeks.
In addition to being really bummed about my wife not being able to be in the hospital when I have my surgery, I am also bummed because that means I can’t have her video the “before” and “after”. Yes, we can make a video on the way there in the car, and she can video me walking into and out of the hospital, but it’s just not the same. Again, thanks, COVID…and all the people who refuse to wear a mask in public.
While we’re on the subject of my top surgery, I would like to give a huge shout-out to Rick with Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts. He has been AMAZING — responsive, supportive, uber helpful, and so much more! Without him, I don’t know how I would have figured out all of the insurance ins and outs.
Since my last update, I’ve been doing a ton of “legal work” to get my name changed in (what seems like) a million places.
- Drove to Greensboro, NC to get my name changed at the DMV. Had an appointment but still took just a little over an hour. I got a few strange looks from other customers, but the lady who waited on me was very nice, and even asked if I wanted her to register me to vote under my new name.
- Had to physically go to my bank (NCSECU) and take a copy of my updated driver’s license and social security card. The process was fast and easy, and the person who helped me was super friendly.
- It’s been interesting to see the differences in the various credit card companies. Some had me submit documents via their online portal, and everything was updated in a matter of 24 hours. Some required me to call in and speak with someone. Some actually required me to fax or send copies of documents via snail mail. Some were definitely more difficult than others.
- Everything was changed at Cisco — with regards to payroll and the remaining internal systems, etc. My dead name is still showing in one place (that I’m aware of), and I’ve reported that to my People & Communities team for them to correct.
- One of the most difficult things for me through all of these legal changes was trying to sell and buy a vehicle during this “in-between” phase. BUT, with the help of my friend, who has a car-buying service, I was able to sell my Jeep under my new name, and purchases my dream truck (a Toyota Tacoma) in my new name. I won’t say it was an easy process…but I got through it with only a few choice words. 😅
Let’s see — what other updates do I have??? Oh, my wife pointed out to me that my facial hair is actually coming in nicely…and there is quite a bit of it. She even took pics and showed me. The reason I didn’t think it was coming in good is that it’s really blonde and thus hard to see on my skin. Hmmm…now what can I do about that??? Either I need a permanent tan or I need to dye the hair on my face. LOL! I mean…I’m just like any other FTM — I want a nice beard and mustache! And I want it now! Hahaha!
On the 20th, I saw my top surgeon, Dr. Keelee MacPhee for my pre-op appointment. It was a great appointment, and I like her even more than I already did. She did ask me an interesting question during my appointment, “Do you want nipples or not?” I was somewhat taken aback, but she mentioned that a number of her patients didn’t want her to put nipples on, as they were going to get a full chest tattoo. Of course, there are also people who choose to get the 3D tattooed nipples (and wow…do they look real!!!). I think I’ve decided to go ahead and have her give me the nips 😅, but I do plan to get a full chest tattoo after a year (the amount of time my doc says I should wait after my procedure).
On a not-so-happy/less-than-positive note, I’ve still not heard anything from anyone in my family (including my own father), except for my Aunt Joann. She is supporting me through all of this and loves me for who I am. I shouldn’t be surprised — because she is the person who got me to “come out” as a lesbian when I was younger. She and I have always had a connection. I swear, she should have been my mom. So, I guess, other than the support of my favorite aunt, I’ll be going under the knife without the support of the rest of my family. I doubt we’ll even speak before then. There are many words I could use to describe their behavior, but these are top of mind: selfish, judgmental, transphobic…I could go on. BUT…my sister-in-law is coming to our house to help my wife take care of me. Think about that for a moment. Let that sink in. How awesome is it that she is driving here (from more than 2 hours away) to help take care of me.
PSA: Parents and family members (aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, grandparents) — PLEASE DO NOT DISOWN YOUR LGBTQ FAMILY MEMBERS. DO NOT JUDGE THEM. DO NOT STOP LOVING THEM. SUPPORT THEM. LOVE THEM. TALK TO THEM. LISTEN TO THEM. BE THERE FOR THEM. If you don’t, one day you will wish you did. I promise you. Life is much too short for you to judge someone for wanting to live as their authentic selves, for whom they choose to love, for how they choose to love, etc.
On the flip side, my Cisco family has been and continues to be so supportive, loving, and encouraging. I’ve gotten so many emails, text messages, & more from so many of them — sharing their positive words, quotes, messages of love, and more — starting with this one from my beautiful, sweet friend, Jodi Swanson:
Liam’s picture sits next to the word bravery in the dictionary. Liam’s taken the bold step to transition into their true self, all the way through to their outside layer. In doing so, he has educated many to not be afraid, to be open to asking questions, to support others in the trans community, and most importantly demonstrate the true meaning of what it means to love someone. As Liam’s, co-worker and mostly his friend “I will be standing in the center of the fire with you and not shrink back.” Love you so much. You’re on my mind every day leading up to this. If I lived closer I would drive to the hospital and sit in the parking lot while you went through it.
On a lighter, funnier note, my wife went shopping yesterday and came home with some really awesome boxer briefs, as well as two shirts — one being a see-through muscle shirt. She said she bought it so she could see my new “nips” after surgery. That’s just another example of how supportive my wife has been since the day I announced it to her in our living room. She has been my biggest fan, my strongest supporter, my cheerleader, my champion. I don’t know what I would ever do without her.
Okay…so I’ve got all five prescriptions (Cephalexin, Docusate Sodium, 800 MG Ibuprofen, Promethazine, and Oxycodone HCL), my testosterone, needles, and syringe (just in case I end up having to spend the night), my shorts, full-zip shirt, pillow, etc. ready to go for Wednesday morning. I have to be at the hospital at 9:30 AM for my COVID test. From 10:00–12:00, they’ll be preparing me for surgery, including Dr. MacPhee coming in to mark up my body. The surgery will last approx. 3 hours (provided all goes well). Then I’ll be in recovery for 2–3 hours. Hopefully, by then I’ll be able to go home.
I’ll try to provide a video update after I get home from surgery — even if I have to have my wife upload it to my blog for me.
Peace and love to all! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, and send positive vibes my way Wednesday.
💗💗💗💗💗 Liam 💜💜💜💜💜
