Transforming the Codependent Mind
Most of us aren’t conscious of our beliefs about ourselves. The 19th Century neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot, the father of hypnosis, wrote that if there were a conflict between the will and the unconscious, the unconscious would always prevail. This explains what drives our behavior and why we often fail to carry out our best intentions or act upon what we know is right. Charcot had a great influence on Freud, who studied with him.
False Beliefs
Codependents grow up with false beliefs. Codependency is learned — learned inaccurate information that you’re in some way not enough, that you don’t matter, that your feelings are wrong, or that you don’t deserve respect. They may not have been told these things directly, but have inferred it from behavior and attitudes of family and friends and events. For example, if you’re ignored repeatedly- even for understandable reasons, you will infer that you’re unimportant or unloved. Often these beliefs get handed down for generations. Changing them isn’t easy and is difficult to do on your own, because it’s hard to see others, let alone yourself, through a lens that’s different than the one you grew up with.
Anxiety
We develop many fears and anxieties based upon false ideas about ourselves and others. For example, many think that making a mistake is…
