Relational Attachment Patterns For Healthier Relations

How Do We Engage With Others?

[ Originally appeared on Becoming Human ]

Part One — How Do You Relate To Others?

Attachment Theory is typically used in reference to romantic relationships and is often spoken of in reference to childhood development, but let’s briefly consider how you typically relate to other human beings, whether romantically or platonically or even the people you interact with in daily life.

Which of these describes you best?

The first attachment pattern would be you if:

• It is easy to get close to others.
• You find yourself able to depend on others and you are okay with them depending on you.
• You don’t tend to fear the other person abandoning you.
• You are comfortable with intimacy, consistent proximity, & developing deep connections.
• You are able to consistently use direct communication and do not shy away from authenticity or vulnerability.

A second attachment pattern would be:

• You feel others aren’t as willing to get as close as you would like them to.
• You worry that the other doesn’t love or have the…