The Man Behind the Senorial Sangria & Things I Learned at Beehive Startups
This article isn’t serious and mostly consists of inside jokes. Please adjust your expectations and confusion accordingly.
Clint Betts is many things to many people.
He’s the inventor of the Clintster (if you haven’t heard of it, don’t worry — basically no one has).
He’s the provider of and inspiration for Chris Rawle’s extensive and very fashionable wardrobe.
He’s the proud owner of the license plate “BEE BOY” (which — fingers crossed — was what he dressed up as for the SS Halloween party).
He may even be the mysterious writer who graced us with the existence of the incredible Confessions of a Tech Bro (Christmas Edition) a few winters ago.
But, of course, what he is to most of us is the founder of Beehive Startups and executive director of Silicon Slopes.
And for a few short, exciting, and somewhat bewildering months, he was also my boss. It was a wonderful experience that began with me correcting his pronunciation of my name in front of a very large group of people and ended with him making me promise to write a blog post about all the supremely useful things he taught me.
So here we are — over a year later — when the full weight of his infinite wisdom has sunk in and I’m finally ready to share the knowledge bestowed upon me at Beehive Startups.
Ladies and gentlemen, please get ready to have your Stance socks knocked off and your flat brim hats blown away.
Wise words from Clint
- “Don’t be awkward.” Out of everything I ever heard come out of Clint’s mouth, this gem is the one that’s changed my life. Some days, I’ll be at an event — thinking someone is waving at me when he’s really waving at the person behind me, standing in a line for food that’s turns out to not really be a food line, or getting caught on camera obviously not knowing how to turn on a microphone — and I feel the awkwardness wash over me. But then I hear Clint’s words and it all goes away. I can’t really explain it. It’s magical.
- Assume it happened. Your instant reaction after reading the previous statement might be, “Assume what happened?” You’ve already failed. The correct response is, “Yes.” It happened and it was awesome — that’s all that you need to know. Any emails that should’ve gone out, any events that anyone asks you about, any parties you can’t remember — they all happened and you were the one that enabled them. Embrace it.
- The more stream of consciousness your writing is, the better. If you have to pause to think while you’re writing, you’re doing it wrong. The first thing that comes to mind is the best thing. The greatest lines in Beehive history have come from this. Exhibit A:
First reaction: My job is terrible because I just walked around the office and discovered zero buses. I blame my boss Clint Betts, who coincidentally enough attended the Entrata opening ceremony and gave a few words of bus-inspired wisdom, all while wearing a pair of zesty red shoes. Until a bus arrives in the Silicon Slopes office, I will write no more articles for you, Mr. Betts — YOU ARE OFFICIALLY ON NOTICE.
— from Entrata Opens New Office In Lehi, Installs Giant Bus Inside
- Start your conversations with the word “so” drawn out slowly. A “so” of a minimum of three seconds followed by a two second pause is optimal. The first time you do this, it will feel awkward. Refer to Clint’s wise words bullet point #1. The fourth or fifth, it will begin to feel natural. Inject this strategy into all of your interactions. “Soooo…how are you today?” “Soooo…I can’t make that deadline.” “Soooo…have we been clapping for hours?” “Soooo…your company sucks.” Around the tenth time, the coolness of this act will infuse you with calm confidence. Those listening to you will instantly perceive this and find you cool. This is the secret to Clint Betts’ success — use it wisely.
Other things I learned at Beehive
- Good coworkers never let you forget when you dressed up as a Disney princess. Once upon a weekend, I was offered $50 by a friend to dress up as Mulan for her five-year-old’s birthday party. It was pretty simple (show up, put on a costume, mouth the words to a Mulan song, teach the five-year-olds how to “fight” by spinning a wrapping paper tube around in circles) and, of course, it was for the children. At work on Monday, the Beehive folks asked me what I did over the weekend and to this day, Chris Rawle still asks if I’ll walk around his house dressed up as Mulan for $50.
- Given a large enough volume of events, you will at some point be dressed exactly like someone else at an event. Get a photo. This happened to me. Walked into a pitch event. One of the entrepreneurs pitching was a man wearing red skinny jeans, black blazer, black shoes — same as me. I did not get a photo with him. I have regretted it forever. Don’t make that mistake.
- Cool people brush their teeth at work. Here’s to you, Chris Rawle — you cool cat, you.
