Before Bloom — How Indonesia Still Has the 8-Highest Number of Child Brides
Many of her friends attending college, but Mimin spends her day raising her 1-year-old daughter.
That afternoon, at her relative’s house, she was helping her beloved one playing with a small umbrella.
“My parents wanted to prevent extramarital pregnancy” said 23-year-old Mimin, explaining her reason of tying the knot so early.
As young as 16, right after graduating junior high school, she married her boyfriend of 2 years.
“I actually wanted to get a job first. But my parents were afraid of me being pregnant.”
She recalled that at schools, her parents were so worried about her relationship with her male then-classmate. Almost everyday she was told to protect herself from ‘unwanted things’, a very general Indonesian term referring to taboo.
Mimin herself believes that many young boys and girls have committed extramarital sex, which she condemns as sinful.
“Right now, they are still doing ‘that’,” she said confidently.
Extramarital sex and pregnancy are taboos in muslim-majority Indonesia. If caught, girls might be disowned for shaming their families.
In some cases, the boy has to marry the girl as part of his responsibility.
That is why, without having to argue, Mimin followed her parents’ request.
The couple then had a very simple wedding celebration and have been together for 7 years now.
But following a cultural pressure is not easy. Young Mimin had to learn how to be a mother.
“I used to not understand what is pregnancy.”
When Mimin gave birth to her first child at 17, her body was not until 50 kgs. On the other hand, she was too young to understand how to raise a baby.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEhjvdMHfrQ
One night, her daughter had convolutions with a 42-degree in Celcius fever. She was so in panic until her family told her to go to a hospital. Nevertheless, it was too late.
“I was so devastated after losing my first child.”
The saddest part for her was she does not really know what has happened.
The couple had to postpone their second baby. Until a year ago, when Mimin was 22, she gave birth to a healthy baby. This time the couple is better-prepared.
Mimin learned how to raise a baby and identifying sickness. She actively seeks for help if anything happens. Seeing her daughter is growing, she could not help but to be very grateful.
There are thousands and thousands more girls like Mimin in Indonesia. An estimated 1 out of 9 girls in Indonesia had married before turned 18, a United Nations survey shows. The country has the eighth-highest number of child brides in the world.
Child marriage is found in all 36 provinces across Indonesia, shows a data from National Statistics Agency. The highest percentage of girls brides found in South Kalimantan and Central Kalimantan with 39%. The lowest percentage is found in Jakarta capital region and Yogyakarta with 11%. While West Java, where Indramayu is, has 27%.
In Indramayu, where Mimin lives, the number of child marriage has tripled in recent years, as recorded by the local Religious Court.
The Court, as stipulated under Marriage Law, may grant dispensation to children below the legal age to marry. Most parents submit religion-related reasoning, such as avoiding extramarital sex, to get dispensation.
Culture Remains a Contributing Factor
Culture plays a significant factor, says Waskenih, who married at 14.
Waskenih had to marry because it is forbidden to refuse the first marriage proposal.
“That is a culture here. If you refuse the first, you will never get a husband anymore,” recalled Waskenih, who is now 42-year-old.
A guy 2 years older from another village wanted to marry young Waskenih. She did not really know the man. Yet the guy asked his aunt, who then asked Waskenih’s mother.
But she was actually afraid and clueless. Almost every night she kept worrying about being pregnant and raising kids. It freaked her out. Waskenih never had sex with her husband.
She did not know that fulfilling her mother’s wish could be so stressful.
Within 3 months, she made her mind and wrote a divorce letter to her husband. Just a sentence:
“As if I am working in a field, I want to take a rest.”
“I did not talk to him in person. I put the letter beneath his pillow. I could not really tell my real reason. Why did I want to be separated.”
Waskenih left to her parents’ house and got divorced soon after. She then worked as a domestic helper in the Middle East to earn and save money.
After she returned to Indonesia, when she was 20, she got married again. This time, she marry a man she loves, not because of tradition.
“I married again when I was 20, an adult. I have understood marriage more. I have a better understanding in mind about marriage, about having kids, all the risks.”
Driven by her experience, Waskenih now wants to change the culture. She has a message for young generation.
“I want that young generation have a full understanding about what marriage is all about. Taking care of the kids in the future. Also how to do household finance and everything.”
“Don’t follow my path. My children and my neighbors should not follow my path,” Waskenih said.
Beyond Child Marriage
For years, women groups have been trying to change the culture by raising public awareness. But they also demand the parliament to revise the minimum age requirement on the 1974 Marriage Bill.
In September 2019, the half-decade-long advocacy has recently been granted by the lawmakers. Before getting married, female citizens have to turn 19, just like male counterpart.
But child marriage is not just about age restriction. Women Coalition of Indonesia (KPI), who has been advocating to stop child marriage, identifies two systematical problem.
“The main factor is poverty. Children are considered as assets by their parents. If someone rich wants to marry their daughter, parents would be like ‘OK, just marry her’. They thought it would remove the economic burden of the family. But actually it won’t.”
On Mimin’s case, her household is struggling to make ends meet.
A junior high school graduate, her husband works as a hard labor in a local market. This is the same job since the two got married.
He works from midnight until morning, lifting produces to kiosks. During afternoon, he would sleep and take a rest, letting Mimin taking care of their baby.
His earning was kept secret. But a minimum monthly wage in Indramayu, a city where they live, is 2.1 millions Rupiah or around 150 US Dollars. Hard labors often earn less then the city’s official bar.
Several studies have shown that child marriage is resulted from poverty and resulted in poverty. Many have been trapped in that cycle chain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2xQ82tOdfg&feature=youtu.be
Yet another factor to be addressed is a lack of education, added Darwinih.
“Many girls in rural area could not attend senior high school. There’s no access to higher education. This situation made it difficult for parents.”
In many parts of Indonesia like Indramayu, some parents have to choose to either marry their girls young or send them overseas to be a migrant worker.
Indonesian government has ambitiously pledged to end child marriage in 2030.
But without addressing poverty and education, will the situation change before there are more young brides like Mimin?
New Hope for Young Generation
