Studies Show Self-Compassion is the Motivator You’re Missing

“There are a whole lot of ways to be perfect, and not one of them is attained through punishment.” — science fiction author Ursula K. Le Guin

Pushing ourselves and holding ourselves accountable are how we achieve success. Unfortunately, many of us mistake harsh self-criticism and self-castigation for “pushing ourselves.” And that has the opposite of the desired effect.

You’re never going to become successful or happy if you constantly put yourself down. Showering ourselves in negative self-talk doesn’t push us to success; it drowns us in our failures.

How we speak to ourselves is vitally important, especially in the face of perceived failure.

Rather than telling ourselves we failed because we’re deficient, we should offer self-compassion by speaking to ourselves with kindness when we experience setbacks.

Why? Self-compassion makes people more resilient to letdowns by breaking the vicious cycle of stress that often accompanies failure.

Research shows that positive self-talk improves athletes’ performance, for example. Athletes who were trained in positive self-talk experienced less anxiety and higher confidence and performance in one study.