Am I Really a Writer?
A Writer’s Existential Crisis
Every time I have a writer’s block, I ask myself “am I really a writer?”, this question keeps haunting me for days and days, especially lately, I was feeling down, I started doubting my ability to write, and I was on the verge of giving up, until I got my answer in the form of a poem by Charles Bukowski “So You Want to Be a Writer”. I always get my answers in weird types, once I got it in a form of a song.
Let me give you a heads up before you proceed, it’s extremely harsh and it’ll bring you to tears, that’s one of the reasons why I love Bukowski, he never beat around the bush; the same reason why those who like sugar-coated lies, never liked him.
So, what’s so great about this poem ?
It’s simply a raw and candid commentary on the creative process of writing, it suggests that writing should not be forced, nor does it wait for the right mood or the right words, it should come out of us as naturally as leaves from a tree.
if it doesn’t come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don’t do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don’t do it.
How does it feel so far?
Genuine writing is born out of an innate need to express oneself, something deep inside of you that you can no longer tame and it desires release.
if you’re doing it for money or
fame,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don’t do it.
So far, I answered “no”, I honestly don’t want women in my bed, also, I’m not even getting paid for writing on Medium, yet I’m still writing, I’ll pat myself on the back.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don’t do it.
if it’s hard work just thinking about doing it,
don’t do it.
if you’re trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.
if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.
No tears yet?
I didn’t share the entire poem, it’s much longer than that, you guys should finish reading it, because, it’s a powerful piece that resonates with anyone who feels the undeniable urge to create, and to pour down their innermost thoughts and feelings onto paper without any regard for judgment or reward, yet, feeling doubtful about one’s ability to write.
Plus, I think every writer should read it, and see for themsemves whether they’re truly writers or not, no matter how harsh the truth may be; it’s like a check list, if you answer all of them with “yes” then perhaps as Bukowski said:
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.
I bet that if Bukowski were still alive, he would have added “and if you use AI to do the writing for you, then present it to people as your own… don’t do it”
Peace to you all writers and non-writers🍉
