Notes on Master and Margarita, Bulgakov

[painting: variation on “Sadko”, by Ilya Repin; mind the woman at the top left corner, who catches the eye of the man bottom right; this fairy tale is about him picking this girl out of 100, 1% chance; so how does this work, or in other words: how does magic happen?]

1. Master and Margarita

I am reading Master and Margarita by Bulgakov, I now read about three quarters of the book.

This book is filled with content, packed with content. But perhaps the most important theme is this one: how is it possible that people do not believe in magic!!

And they really should. People are such a bunch of bores, always occupied with business, work, money, insurances, tickets, prices; people are so full of self-importance; they always have these stern looks; they have so little humour.

This is a typical male way of life: “serious”, “rational”, “business-as-usual”, “do your thing and do not complain” type of living. Bulgakov attacks, or at least questions this way of life. And he takes this to the next level: he shows how this influences, or I could say, “troubles”, “clouds”, “darkens” their worldview.

Usually people don’t even care about why we live; they are stuck in offices that have electrical light, there is nothing to question about this kind of life: here is the copy machine, there is the telephone; Bulgakov’s book is also full of offices with desks, papers, telephones. Though sometimes in the evening people might start wondering: “we are in the dark about the truth”, “we don’t understand life”, “why is this” “who put the light out?” Well, what if you would just switched it off yourselves, you retards!

2. “Just natural”, “don’t worry”, “don’t think”

Normally people believe that the world is just “natural”. But that is a male, authoritative point of view, like when a child sits behind a plate with food, which he does not like (“yikes, beans!”), and complaints about it to his parents, and the father says: “just eat it” “don’t complain”, “we always do” “it is just natural to do so”.

How long would you be able to resist an order like this? Perhaps not too long, and you start eating.

But think, just think for a second: this world is not natural at all. It is simply a miracle that we exist. Just calculate on your fingers: how big is the chance that you would come into existence? One out of five? No man, much smaller: something like 0,00000000000000000000!% The chance that this world exists, and that you exist, is way less than those 10 fingers you have; no, just start count on your toes, if you think you can manage.

But rather don’t make a fool out of yourself; just reject the thought that everything is just natural. It is not. These stupid mansplaining men cannot understand this, they will say “oh! it is just natural” or “God made it”, “just believe it”, which is basically all the same: blunt male authoritative statements, that only function to block further questioning of the magical character of our world!!!!

3. Feminine world

Ah, you may sigh, what else could I do, than to comply with it? You do not have to comply with this! Just reject this “Nietzschean philosophical junk food”, “Kantian hamburgers” or “Christian donuts” for a moment, just skip it for a while. And discover that there is another world, full of mystery, but also full of answers.

There is another, alternative world view, I call this a feminine worldview. Here you can find out, how things really are, instead of all these blunt male statements/hamburgers.

In this world of magic, things come into existence out of nothing. Yes, that is it, it is exactly how I say so: they come into existence out of nothing! They just “plop” into existence by pure magic!!

Men cannot understand this, therefore they believe in “creation”, “plan”, “decision”. Nietzsche also said so: you have to do philosophy with a hammer, like if the world has been constructed by a carpenter. Hahaha. He apparently killed God, but he replaced it by another carpenter; the only difference: this guy had no name. Foolish games they play, men! They all say there must be something, or someone, behind it, whatever it is: a first cause, or God, or just something, some planning, some kind of construction, some “will”; whether it is a “will to power”, “will to life”, eventually even a “will to nothingness” (Phillip Mainlander). Hahaha. And then they will debate about it, what is the reason behind it; men like debates, discussions. This is a male world, where you have discussions, and arguments, and concepts, and definitions: Christians, agnostics and atheists, they seem different, but they are all alike! All mansplaing, all men making statements about the world, and know nothing about it. Statements are not facts! You cannot determine the meaning of life, by “sitting in a bar” and “exchaning opinions”. Men are that simple that they would think that they would discover the meaning of life at the bottom of a glass of beer. Hahaha.

No! Just throw away all these ideas; hop, 2000 years of male philosophy in the waste bin. In the feminine magical world, things can come into existence out of nothing: there is no first cause, or creator. A whole universe can come into existence out of nothing, out of pure chance: including this world, with it’s fields, trees, cities, palaces, ponds. Just out of chance! Even the towers on the castles are made out of nothing. The window? Out of nothing. The curtains? The material it is made of is nothingness!

That is magic right?!?! And you don’t like magic? You want an explanation? Well, why not. Because you can explain it. Not if you think as a man. Then it is like you look into a mirror, and a man would say: “I see nothing but myself”. Because there is nothing but myself, there must be another person or cause that created me! They always see nothing but themselves, ah, they are so self-important; and they are so self-important that they would even “multiply themselves”: the ego, and it’s initial cause; a “little helper”.

But a female could look into the mirror and see that she contains everything: her image contains her face, her thoughts but also its inherent cause. She could see herself, but also the chance that she came into existence; she could see the chance that she could be born, and that this chance already existed from eternity, before the Big Bang. She can see the “virtual chance” that she would come into existence, that “virtual chance” has always been there. This “virtual chance” existed already from before the Big Bang. This “virtual chance” totally reflects her present being, so that this “virtual chance” is just as real as she is real, and as she is 100% real, this “virtual chance” is also a full 100% chance that she would come alive.

And she could see the “real risk” of it happening, of herself coming into existence. This was never sure, this was a 50/50% chance, she could also not have come into existence, but she did.

The bottom line: nothingness is full of chances. Yes, nothingness is a Pandora’s box: very full of things and very real.

And there is zero blockade against believing this, no male chauvinism, no male authoritative pride, no parade of arguments, discussion, concepts, definitions.

4. The world is good

Men also have a different meaning about the value of life. They say “this world is just natural” and so “this world should be good” or at least “the best of the worst”; “let’s make the best of it”.

In this state of mind, they go to work in the morning, eat lunch, work again, have dinner, and go to bed. Everything is “just fine” and “under control”. And if you’re going to die, then you just die, that is also very natural. Even the fact that at the current moment people are suffering in hospitals, like on the cancer ward, is natural in some sense, because “sick people belong in hospitals”; and that the dead are in their graves is also just “a logical fact of life” as dead people are not supposed to walk around! Hahaha.

Perhaps, late at night, after a glass of wine, they might worry a little bit about the value of life. But as men are totally childish, ignorant, they will simply say that after death they will either just live on, in heaven, or they will just be death, in their grave, and in both cases, death does not mean anything.

5. Take your freedom

You might think that women know better. But no, they think like men! Aargh, what misery. Apparently it is contagious: women act the same as men, think the same as men!!

That is crazy, as if they do not have a mind of their own. Men talk the talk, and apparently women think: they talk so much and this can only mean one thing: they talk the truth; which is not the case!

Just stop it! Just take some freedom of mind, and stop listening to this talking. I am so tired of it.

When you have a feminine mind, you can know that things are different. It is clearly visible, that this world is not good! It is evil. It is a bad joke. This world cannot mean but anything: you are just thrown in it, without asking; you have luck or you have not, to become happy. And whatever are your chances of luck, it is sure that you’re going to die! In this view, the world cannot mean but one thing: it is evil! Yes, it is evil.

6. Redemption

Now there’s something positive. Imagine that the world is just a bad joke, it came into existence by chance, by mistake; and that this created all his evil.

But if so, the world can also make one mistake too many, which will destroy evil. That seems the true story of the world: it came into existence by chance, and it will also destroy itself by chance

And how? There are a few hints, a few clues. These are small clues, so you have to be careful not to overlook them. Because the world is all about delicacy, you have to be sensitive, to see the hints, these are somewhat hidden, but you can see them.

This is one hint: it is beautiful, look at all those flowers, girls. That is already a hint, that it is beautiful. It is not normal at all, that some things are that beautiful. Flowers, trees, sunshine, women. That is very very remarkable!!

So first you might be surprised by the beauty of this world. The weather might be nice, that could be a simple example of something that is beautiful; a tree can be nice, flowers, or women.

The second hint: loneliness. Yes, the second thing is loneliness. That is also very very remarkable: why are things so lonely?

This is also a striking feature in Master and Margarita: Margarita is very beautiful, and ter-ri-bly lonely. Her loneliness seems even more fundamental than her beauty.

And you know what happens, when you have such a woman who is beautiful and lonely? This will create a counter-reaction from nature. She is already 30 years old, I read. And it is simply impossible to have such a sensitive, beautiful and lonely creature walking around on earth, without counter-reaction; nature will not allow it!!

Because everything in this world is made out of chance, out of pure chance, that is the soft material out of which this world is made. But some things are made out of hard material: these are planned, intentional, these are things that must exist no matter what!! And among them, apparently, nature cannot stand beautiful lonely girls, so nature will react on it in a very specific, intentional way.

Yes, you cannot just have such a woman walking around: beautiful, lonely, nature cannot allow for it! It’s a pure provocation.

So this will trigger a reaction from nature. Here nature starts to react in another way than usual: with purpose! Nature will start to talk to her: hey, pssst, hello!

Nature will start to grow more flowers for her: psst, take some of these; pluck the flowers, enjoy the sunshine, and ow, hey, if the sun is too much for you, look at those trees, psst, they offer you shade. Nature might even let the flowers slowly move in the wind to catch her attention: how clever!

Perhaps she might pluck a few of these flowers, Margarita does so. In the novel she walks down the street with a bunch of yellow flowers in her arms. That is nice, but just nice for a start. Because it might not be enough. She might still be lonely, so nature might be annoyed again. Nature might be provoked to do even more! Yes, nature might be triggered to do even more, with the intention to make her happy. So in the situation, that flowers are not enough, nature could also send her company.

This would cause two things to happen. In the first place it can make Margarita happy. And in the second place, it can destroy/pacify nature. Because this acts would cost nature dearly, it would cost nature energy, that she would need to sustain herself. Nature has a lot of energy, but nothing too many, not a single piece of energy too many; just enough energy to sustain herself, so everything that she uses to cheer up Margarita will burn a hole in her, by which she would slowly deflate.

7. Is this really true?? Nonsense?

If you do not believe it: we can check it out. In the novel, Margarita meets the Master. It is written that this is not a coincidence, is mentioned in the book: it was planned!

Imagine how big is the chance that a girl like Margarita will meet the Master? A chance like 0,000000000000000001%. Almost impossible! But they did, they met!

Look how Bulgakov beautifully describes this; how Bulgakov is apparently a foolish romantic, but in real is a precise analytic, just look how he scientifically determines the factors that are involved here; because in the novel is written that the Master was attract by A. her beauty and B. her loneliness. Ha! The two factors that are involved.

And you might consider this as something random, like “ah, well, just normal”, “okay, small chance, but yeah, just normal, just natural”, “beautiful girls all over the place”, “the man was living in Moscow, highest rate of beautiful girls in the world”, “could not miss”. Yes yes, if I hear you say so, you are probably one of those people who regard things to be normal, right, you are such a rational person, aha, well well, yes yes. But there is nothing normal about this. What do you think, that it is normal that such beautiful girls exist and are still lonely? No my friend, very rare chance!! This is extrordinary!

Then you might argue: how would you find such a person if they are that rare?

You might say to me: if there is even a very small chance to find such a person in Moscow (!!) how to find her???

I’ll tell you: such a girl will carry around her a field of gravity, so that if you are a sensitive man, you know that she’s here, even when you do not see her; like you sense something is in the air, even before you know what; you only notice “gravity” and you are pulled towards it.

8. Going out for “coffee”

You might go into town, with a sensation like “ah, well, let’s just go to town”, “I don’t know why, but perhaps there’s something out there today”, “perhaps I’ll get a coffee somewhere”. And then you think that you are attracted to the idea of going to town, because of the taste of coffee. Ha ha, how you can be fooled by your own mind! Because then you go to a bistro, apparently just for coffee, and then >she< is sitting there. “What a coincidence”, your mind might tell you, like this is the only word it knows, the first word you have learned when you were a baby “Ow, Mark, come and see, the baby started to talk” “ow, what word does it cay, mama or papa” and the baby like “coincidence” The parents would simply faint. Stop this nonsense: you were attracted to this girl when you opened your eyes in the morning, and noticed “what a nice day today”, when you put on your best clothes like “well, let me just try this new shirt today” and when you closed the door to go to town, instead of staying indoors. And you might wonder; ah, well, what a coincidence, that today, now I put on my best shirt, and went into town, this girl is sitting in this cafe. That is your ratio telling you: “what a coincidence”. As if, when it is about true love, coincidence exists. Never, never listen to your ratio, in “matters of love”. Who is going to marry a person, because “it is wise to do so”.

9. Tricks by nature

Perhaps we can have a better understanding of what is happening here, and then also get such experiences. You know what I think: if there is such a beautiful and lonely girl, she is like a provocation to everything around her! Yes, that it is, she is so beautiful and so lonely, that is like a provocation to nature; so that nature has to react on her; therefore this planned, willful act of nature, so send a man to Margarita: “here!” nature says to her, I know, I am nature, I make things out of chance, I am just a combination of chances myself, but you, when I saw you, I know that I made a mistake too many, ah well! You are such a provocation to me, you look so beautiful and lonely, I just give you a man. Here you have it, and then please stop being lonely.

You can also have such experiences. Perhaps you might say: hey! You read too much of Bulgakov, your mind started dreaming, put this book aside and go for a walk, or throw a bucket of water over your head. That will clear up things for you!

But no my friend, just try to provocate nature yourself, and see what magic sets in. I will give you an example.

For example: in Bulgakov’s novel, cats just talk, owls fly through the room, that is just magic. But this can happen in your real life too. When I was small, I would sometimes wake up and saw an owl sitting at my window sill. This was very real, it would sit there a while, look at me with its big eyes, and then fly away.

You might say: that is not real. Well, it was very real. And I know why. There was a clue: it’s fur contained all colors of the world: very bright, rainbow like colors; but it’s eyes were very dark. It already contained the colors of the day, but its mind was still in the dark; and it came in the morning, the owl had something to do with daybreak. And me too, I was in my bed waking up. And then I thought like: hey, I am waking up, and the day is also waking up, but apparently there is a difference. Perhaps my mind sometimes goes that fast, that I would wake up quicker than the day would begin. And you know what this is? This is provocation! This is a pure provocation to nature: a simple kid waking up quicker than me??!?!?! Yes, a pure provocation! So that nature would send me an owl to “fix this”, to “fill this vacuum” between me and the day. The owl would sit there just long enough for the daylight to catch up with me. Yes, nature is just matter, nature is just dead matter, physical matter, but you can provoke it, and then it turns into spirit; it goes planning, thinking, wondering: how to fix this, how to appease this kid?!!?

Sometimes it can also become violent. In Master and Margarita people are sometimes just plucked away out of life. This was the same with my father, he died instantly when I was 5 years old, and it did not look like a natural death, it looked like murder. The man was perfectly healthy. And it was Saturday afternoon. And he decided “I have to buy some cigars”. Fifteen minutes before closing time of the shops! Like why??????? Next I “had to go with him”, I had an inner drive to be present when he would go, but he refused, and then I looked at my mom with large eyes like “can I go? can I go?” And she asked him: “just take the kid with you, right?” And he surrendered. And he died while we drove to the shop.

Actually, he died when we drove around a bent! But the car steered perfectly around the bent, drove about 500 meters further, crossed a crossing with no problems, and the car was suddenly turned to the left and hit a tree, after I realised, that ahead of us was a T-crossing and we would most definitely die. Someone steered this car. And at the moment when I thought: someone come and explain me what this is all about!!! A man appeared, not a real one, but a man that came out of nothing (yes, out of nothing); it was a man in a grey suit, who stared and laughed about me. And I send him away like: get lost! you want to take me? Not my time yet! Can’t you see I am just a child you fool!

The whole affair seems planned. My father was taken out of life, just as some people in Master and Margarita. Not because he was not nice, but perhaps because he was naive and could block my development; or because this event could trigger my development. You can see from this, that this world view is pretty hard; men are actually soft: they would try to diminish this brutal act by claiming that it would have a reason: it is an act of God, or it is the course of nature; but it was not, it was murder.

Another example: after some years, I felt sick, and back then Jesus came through my window. And I was like: what do >you< want? Do you also want to take me? Well, just do it, if you think you can offer me something better than this world! Hahaha!

I thought I was in control back then. But perhaps not; every time these things happen, it doubles the intensity of my feelings. It send Jesus to me, but I saw through him. Perhaps this was meant to teach me that in the end, this belief is not about Jesus, but even more: that it is about belief in the unexpected, in magic; I knew already what he would offer me, and I knew it was “an offer you cannot refuse”, but still not a good one; so I blocked it with my question.

Another example: at some point I was like: why am I still alone? And I sighed, once, twice, put something on the internet, and then I got an email from someone and this problem was cleared too.

When she was sick, the doctor said: 25% chance for survival. We went back home, I put the paper with the diagnosis on the attic, as if it did not exist, went in the garden, looked at the sky with question “what is this all about!!?” and the phone rang, and the doctor said: sorry, misdiagnosis, chance for survival 75%. Bang.

And a third example: I was having this worldview. But did not find the words for it. So then nature completed it: from 2021 I made some Bible examinations, and found things no one knows, “catching dust” for about 2000 years. Also about Nietzsche, Kant, Heidegger, a lot. So know I did not just have “lucid dreams” but also “lucid thoughts”.

And I was like: how come no one in the world shares the same view? Do you people want me to have a depression?!!? Where’s my “lucid friend”?

I was looking for a way to share these thoughts or feelings. Why are people so rational, and so boring?

I tried to provoke a few people, I made them angry, but they did not respond: no life in them. And apparently nature did not like this: why is this man suffering? So she led me to open my laptop and see a Twitter message from a woman which post was relatively long, which is a rarity and it was about psychosis, also a rarity. Most people do not communicate such long rants, they are “tough”, they communicate in short posts, way too short for personal stuff.

So perhaps here was a clue. Of course people on Twitter have a life of their own, but you can take this as a clue, usually in these posts are hints, that you have to unravel; swich on my feminine mind and unravel these hints, and it was right in my face; Bulgakov, Master and Margarita. Okay, and then your mind goes in the defense: Bulgakov! hahaha! loser. He is no Tolstoy, he is no Dostoevsky. Second rate material, just leave it. But I read Dostoevsky last month, and it was boring, it was 600 pages male rational rants, and only on the last page Rodion “the hyperrationalist” Raskolnikov came to the conclusion that he perhaps could do something on the basis of emotion. Pfew, and this took him 600 pages during which he committed a whole lot of stupid things, even including a double murder!!! And he needed to think day after day why murder is bad??? What a simpleton. And he was like: the woman I murdered was a lice! But stupid man: it is even bad to kill lice! So my first thought was: Dostoevsky is better, hahaha, but that was my rational me, that devil inside, and then my real me took over and was like: no, perhaps Bulgakov is way better. And so my second thought was: ha! what a luck! Chance out of a million. But it is not luck, it is planning, such things are planned. It is weakness from your side, that you cannot see it; open up and awake and have fun.

Also my first thought was: I already read Bulgakov as a teenager, and I did not like the book: all of that magic!! But these thoughts about magic are very mature. Men are just small kids, they fight about Ukraine like naughty children, you should just grab them and smash their heads against each other, to wake them up, like Woland sometimes does in the novel. Or they waste nature, like small boys waste your back yard, and you: what did you do kids????? So perhaps I was too young back in those days, to really appreciate the novel. But now it worked: this book is really the best! So thanks for the referral. At last people might say: aha, and now you want more of the same, right, you are thirsty for more? And me: no, who told you that!?! It does not work like that! Because feminine sensitivity is also about paying, you just do not take but you return. So I think about what I could do to promote Bulgakov a little more; and what I could do for nature; she fulfilled my sensitivity.