Self-acceptance and self-improvement
You are amazing, you are beautiful, you are important, you are talented…. self acceptance, self-esteem.
As a curvy girl living in a skinny world, I have always had a hard time with my body. There was no one like me in magazines and I wanted to be like the girls in magazines. I was battling every day to be a skinnier me, a “better “me.
Then I started reading books about self-esteem and the big thing, recipe, advice, was learning to love yourself as you are NOW.
My first reaction was to think: that’s bullshit to stop people from complaining and to be self-complaisant. I mean how can I possibly accept 31 years of rounds, curves, bombing body (I am not self-depreciating just stating fact looooool).
But, when you go on the road of personal development ( it was not only for my body), you have to have an open mind, so here I went trying to love the present me. I did a great job about it. I went from 10% to 95% of love…
Yes, there is always something we have a hard time accepting, don’t be hard on me for the 5%.
So here I was, loving myself 95% and still wanting to get skinnier. I started dieting and a friend told me: why do this to yourself? (diet is like piercing me with needles all day, I love to eat sooooo much. I can’t be the only addict? am I?)
Friend: why do this to yourself? Don’t you love yourself ?????
Me : I do but I want to change
Friend: Then you don’t really love yourself …
I was stunned, what could I reply to that. I had the same conversation over and over again with different people.
We have a hard time with self-acceptance because of, our own criticism, our “flaws”. We live in a world that turns around perfection, mister and miss perfection. In my case miss skinny.
Self-acceptance is about thinking: I may not be miss or mister perfect, I may have all the flaws in the world and that’s ok. That’s me. I don’t have or need to be any different and I (will) love everything I am. And if you are a believer you may add, because every creation of God is perfect.
So …..here I come, after that loving thing, still wanting to change.
From my friend point of view, I may not love myself “fully”…….
What does improvement have to do with not loving ourselves?
You don’t improve yourself only when something is wrong. You can walk from good to better and better to best. Whatever the change is.
It’s because we love ourselves as we are that we are able to strive or fight for a better us, without being depressed, sad or too much struggling.
I can also add that sometimes it’s only by loving yourself now, that you can give your all to do better, or/and to be better.
Loving yourself gives you the freedom to do whatever you want with yourself.
So keep loving yourself and striving for a better you, sky is the limit.
Love,
Fanny
