Too Proud to Say “I’m Sorry”
Why not “own it,” instead of continuously carrying the burden on your back?
Everyone of us on this earth has been in a situation where we’ve erred, offended someone (either intentional or unintentional), or had an accident.
It’s in our nature to feel guilt, shame, and remorse. As an offender, the right thing to do is apologize, which can be a difficult action to take.
Sunday, March 27, 2022, a prime example of the infamous offense of the “slap heard around the world,” has yet to be acknowledged, owned, and complemented with a ‘sincere’ apology — running and escaping to another country is NOT going to make it disappear.
As I make my case, I’m not taking sides or justifying cause and effect. I’m taking an objective view, only to discuss the repercussions and burden we bear during an assault, without offering an apology, which is where my dialogue begins.
I was also involved in a similar situation, April 23, 2022. I received a phone call from someone who literally “blasted” me with their loud, overbearing, obnoxious voice on the other end of the call. The person didn’t ask any questions. They just began giving me a piece of their mind.
Once I was able to understand what all the hoopla was about, and the caller realized that I was not involved, and innocent of what I had been accused, I never received an apology, nor an admission from them, that they were wrong.
Instead, what I received was justification for such behavior. The unnecessary, misplaced, unwarranted justification was the same response given by the perpetrator who administered the infamous slap at the Oscars.
In my situation, there seemed to be underlying circumstances occurring within the life of the person who blasted me. I just happened to receive the brunt of the “loaded cannon,” which had been waiting to explode.
In life, things happen, which include offenses we commit against others. And, when we offend, whether intentional or unintentional, at some point — hopefully, and immediately thereafter the offense, or once we calm down and collect ourselves, we need to look introspectively.
We need to ponder what we did, why we committed the act, put pride and entitlement aside, own it, and fix it.
We can fix the indiscretion by first, forgiving ourselves. It’s okay to suffer the guilt — we should. Not as self-punishment, but as a means to “come clean” — get that thing out in the open — face it!
Once we acknowledge the offense, going through the gamut of emotions is also okay. It’s healthy, because we’re releasing those bottled-up negative feelings, which if internalized, could develop into bigger chronic physical and/or mental conditions.
When we reach the point that we’ve forgiven ourselves, the huge step of reaching-out to the person we’ve offended, or confronting the issue, they are the biggest hurdles to overcome.
Once we really feel remorseful — I mean really feel it, then we will be able to feel sorry for what we’ve done. When we feel it, we can convey it to the victim, and they will feel the sincerity flowing from us.
That’s the best time to reach-out to the person and offer a sincere apology — Not “I apologize.” Not, “if I offended you.” Not, “if you feel like I hurt you...”
Just say: “I’m sorry.”
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