The Unseen Race, Puppy syndrome and Hush effect
Why are you running?
Sometimes I sit back and wonder where we are all racing to.
Do you?
Everyone’s trying to achieve something, do something, start something.
And while there’s definitely nothing wrong in that, the problem is in the fact that a lot of them are born out of doing things because someone else is doing it.
Someone starts a brand, you start yours. Someone makes a music video, you make yours. Someone starts dating and you suddenly want a boyfriend or girlfriend too 😅.
Social media, a great joy to our generation, boy is it fun to be on. Post what you want, tweet what you want, say how you feel. Isn’t that great?
Till you see Brandy using the latest iPhone SE or Ladari in the club, drinking from the most expensive bottle. Maybe it’s Cynkoko who recently became an influencer, 100k Instagram followers, new clothes, spending money like it grows on trees.
Who is it for you?
Who do you see and a dark cloud settles in your mood and you begin to question yourself.
Puppy Syndrome: a pattern of people who want to follow what every other person is doing and rely less on their own thinking. Likened to a puppy who follows it’s owner around the house and is always told what to do. They want to be just like their owner.
Added to the Ajoke dictionary 26/06/2020 😉
Perhaps you ask questions like:
- “What am I doing wrong?”
- “Are we not mates?”
- “What am I doing with my life?”
- “Why am I so unlucky?”
- “Why can’t I be like her or him?”
Hush: to become quiet or still, to fall silent. Mostly occurs so you can think and know what to do next in a situation.
A few days ago, I went ‘hush’ on my socials. I usually do this a few days monthly to try and get my head back in the game, know where I currently am and answer some of the most important questions to me, like;
- “What do I really want out of life?”
- “What drives me when I’m not constantly comparing myself with others?”
- “Who am I when I’m not focusing on what others claim to be?”
Think of it this way, if you were the last active person on earth with no one around to copy, who would you be, what would define you and what would you do and absolutely love?
Some people want money or more money, fame or more fame, power, latest fashion, respect, impact, promotions and lately more likes, retweets, followers, impressions… I could go on.
Everyone is in a different race, never forget. So none is rated invalid.
But something we fail to always recognize is that in this race, we have just one competitor, OURSELVES, and that should be our sole focus.
It seems cliche but today I understand that the only person I should try to be better than is the person I was yesterday, last week, last month, last year, last success, last failure or problem or breakdown.
Success is never final, and failure is never fatal- Myles Munroe
Daily growth is important and sometimes its not only in the moves we publicly make but a change in our individual thoughts and perhaps goals.
Every day as I scroll through my Twitter, Instagram or LinkedIn, I have learnt to celebrate other successes whilst focusing on being the most authentic form of myself in all I do. Never pulling myself down but always feeling inspired by these stories and saying I CAN DO THIS (If I truly want to)
Sometimes that is all it takes, saying it to yourself.
And on days when I beat myself up and bring myself down and feel those nasty things towards myself because I don’t feel good enough according to standards set by another person, I’d always remember that although the saying goes “steady wins the race”, maybe I don’t have to be steady just yet.
Steady: securely in position; not liable to fluctuate or fall
Maybe steady really does not even win the race I am in.
Rather it’s the constant looking ahead to the finish line, taking steps forward (no matter how little) and never looking back at others just to fall.
It’s part of our story to have those breakdowns, those failures, those moments of thinking and overthinking and even those days when we don’t feel like thinking at all.
Because it is in these moments we truly learn, unlearn, and relearn so many parts about us.
What steps can you take to achieve this:
- Learn who you truly are. Focus on you, your likes, dislikes, values.
- Do not compare yourself to anyone, living or dead.
- Take it step by step, no one jumps to the finish line in just one step.
- Do not try to figure it out all at once.
- Leverage on the things you already about you and are sure (making money, helping people, writing).
- Define what success would mean to YOU, not by what others define as success (run a company, create a new product, write a book,own a house by 30, get married and have kids).
Let’s do a reintroduction…
Hello there!
I have a bunch of really long names I sometimes do not remember, but I love Ajoke.
It means ‘to come together and take care of’. It’s my favorite name 😉
I’m a 19 year old who probably knows nothing about life but thinks she does 😆
I love love love bringing ideas to life, turning ideas to products, ideas to events, concepts to projects.
“…Calling forth things that are not as though they were”-Romans 4:17
Through the power of execution.
I am not in a race with others though. I’m figuring me one lap at a time and I hope we can together.
Most importantly I overthink, over care and over love.
So who are you?
Even without it figured out, I’d still love to know you 😉
P.S: This post was written on August 23, 2019. I stumbled upon it and it seemed so relevant to today’s issues. Glad some edits made it work. Tell me your thoughts!x
Ajoke.
