The Power of Asking ‘How’ Questions in Coaching and Therapy
Using ‘how’ questions will gain information and understanding
Have you ever noticed questions that start with ‘why’ have a ring of accusation to them?
- Why are you late?
- Why did you go to the market?
- Why is there no coffee left in the pot?
Virginia Satir (1916 –1988), the pioneer of family therapy, acknowledged this too. In her groundbreaking book The New Peoplemaking, Satir made the case to refrain from asking “why” questions and shifted the focus to “how.”
“Understanding the system helps people to ask ‘how’ questions instead of ‘why’ questions. You know how hard you have to work with a ‘why’ question so it doesn’t come out sounding like a blame question… ‘How’ questions get information and understanding, ‘why’s’ produce defensiveness.”
In my work as a Corporate Coach and psychotherapy training, the spark of curiosity is the fire that ignites the desire to ask ‘how’ questions. If you suffer from an incurable inquisitiveness as I do, you may also find yourself drawn…
