Becoming a doctor is not always a linear process. Students often take gap years, pursue graduate degrees, and enroll in five- to seven-year programs before entering medical school. That is to say, the age when medical students officially don their white coat as medical doctors varies widely. This is often the pretext that leads people to argue that five to ten years in the broader context of a person’s career is trivial. That may be true, but it isn’t the whole story.
The Transition can be Tough
While it probably won’t make that much difference by the time you hit residency, the age difference between traditional and nontraditional students will feel palpable during the first two years of medical school. According to the AAMC, the average age of matriculants in the United States between 2014 and 2018 was 24, with students over the age of 29 in roughly the 95th percentile (meaning only five percent are this age or older). If you are nearing 30 (or plan to matriculate after 30, like I did) it is almost guaranteed that the majority of your classmates will be in a very different stage of life.
A quick google search will show you dozens of articles highlighting the real-world experience and emotional intelligence of non-traditional students. These traits are presented as ‘advantages of being a non-traditional student’ and, for the most part, they are. However, the same traits that make you more adept at facing the challenges of medical school are traits that will, at times, make it harder for you to relate to your peers. When I decided to write this article I spoke with several other nontraditional students. Even those who felt comfortable with the age gap conceded that while they may not necessarily have ever felt like an outsider, being older than their peers made it hard to “click in” to a friend group.
Check Your Ego
The relationships you build in medical school are important. Really important. Regardless of how emotionally mature or academically prepared you are when you start, you can be sure that, at times, you will struggle. Some of the challenges you will face are obvious, such as the academic rigor and pace of learning. Other challenges are less salient, such as the sometimes toxic culture of medicine and the fact that you will likely have to leave your family and friends behind. Even if you are one of the lucky ones and are able to keep loved ones close by, there is something to be said about the camaraderie and sense of community that comes with being able to share your thoughts and feelings with people who are going through the same challenges as you.
If you can’t check your ego and find a way to relate to your classmates as peers, you will miss out on the amazing support system which they can and will provide. Worse, you can end up isolating yourself. My advice: Try to grab a drink, hit the gym, or even go on a weekend trip with your classmates from time to time. Personal relationships will enrich professional ones and are an important tool that will help you cope with the day-to-day challenges.
Set Boundaries
Being a minority in a fairly homogeneous group isn’t easy. Most medical students have the common sense not to make insensitive comments about gender, ethnicity, etc. This is not necessarily true with regard to age. For me, these issues arose almost exclusively outside the classroom. Sometimes classmates would make comments about my age that were blatantly obnoxious. Other times the comments were made more out of naivete than malice, such as asking why I don’t have kids yet, or what it’s like to be ‘so old.’
When you are already going out of your way to ‘check your ego, comments about your age can be particularly tough. In the past, when this happened to me, I would brush insensitive comments off as, “no big deal.” Over time, I realized that by not addressing things that bothered me, I was developing feelings of resentment. I found myself less interested in engaging with people outside of the classroom, which ultimately contributed more broadly to a sense of isolation and dissatisfaction with my experience as a non-traditional student.
As with so many things in life, I wasn’t able to get past my feelings of dissatisfaction until I found a way to address them at their source. How others address this will vary from situation-to-situation and person-to-person. However, something I have found helpful is to reframe problematic interactions through the lens of myself at their age. I ask myself, “Would 21-year old me understand the abrasiveness of the comment that was just made to 31-year old me without being prompted?” In most cases, the answer is probably no. By actively reframing interactions in this way before approaching my classmates with grievances, I’ve found that I am able to have more constructive conversations with them.
Final Thoughts
There are numerous other things, both good and bad, that could be said of the decision to pursue medicine as a nontraditional student. Life plans, such as starting a family, buying a house, and otherwise living your life, could end up getting delayed. You’ll have to ask yourself difficult questions about whether you want to spend the extra time it takes to pursue a speciality with a longer residency. Likely, you will also find parts of medical school easier than most of your peers. Moreover, many of the challenges discussed in this article will fade once you start your third year of medical school, which is when you’ll begin interacting with people of all ages. Incidentally, this is also the time when your real-world experience will really get a chance to shine.
If you are a non-traditional student, none of what’s been written here is meant to discourage you. Medical school presents unique challenges, regardless of age. If you make the effort, you’ll likely find that the commonalities between you and your peers far outweigh the differences. Don’t lose sight of why you decided to uproot your life to pursue medicine in the first place. The things that make you different are the things that make your place among your peers all the more valuable. Be confident, be excited, and try your best to enjoy the ride.
