Medical Error

The Delivery … of a Medical Mistake

July, the month interns start their training. That’s true every year.

Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) 😬
BeingWell
Published in
4 min readJun 30, 2020

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Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash

Before residency work-hour restrictions were instituted, interns stayed in the hospital until the work was done. There was no “signing out” and going home. That’s how I entered and grew in the medical field.

My longest workweek was 128 hours. So, of the 178 hours in a week I spent 40 of those outside the hospital.

Then this …

“Push”

Enough already I think.

“Push!”

Come on, let’s get this over with.

“Push!!”

Come on now, don’t you want to deliver?

“Puuuuuuuush!” I command.

The parturient in lithotomy position before me begins to focus. Bearing down, she complies with a vigorous push.

The nurses flanking her and supporting her legs encourage as well (and far more cheerfully than I). “Push, dear. Push and hoooold it. You can do it. Push this little baby out into the world.”

We labor together. We’re a team, but the mother, as always, does most of the work. The nurses, my “assistants” know way more than I do. I’m strictly a…

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Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) 😬
BeingWell

The “MD” & “um” in Medium, and the “er” in wisenheimer | Doctor Funny editor/czar | Sultan of satire | disgraced former parking lot attendant