EXTREME ROMANCE

Are You My Lover?

the dating years

by author

I always wanted to fall in love too much.

How much?

Take a look at my weird childhood. All Disney had to do was put eyeshadow and clothes or no clothes on animals, and I fell in love.

With foxes, dogs, and lions, and when all the Bambi animals caught a raging case of mating season and an orgy developed, I was first in line.

When your will to fall in love is as strong as mine, it secretes a repellent that potential lovers can smell from 3000 meters.

These lovers get the impression that folks like me don’t actually want to fall in love with them; we want to fall in love with love itself. The lovers feel used. They think we see them as nothing more than love syringes.

By the way I’m talking, you’re assuming I’m not good-looking.

You’re wrong.

I am good-looking. However, my looks can’t be trusted. They’re fair-weather looks. They depend heavily on light, time, and the charity of the observer.

But to be honest about observers (and cameras and mirrors), none of them can capture my looks properly because of the “observer’s paradox.”