How this Dirty Little Secret Could be Damaging More Than Your Relationship

Most couples argue from time to time. But did you know that depending upon the form your arguments take, they can also take a toll on your psychological and emotional health?

It’s true. And to help illustrate how that works, let’s look at some ways that couples deal with their conflicts.

Many couples would never consider physical violence in the heat of a contentious verbal exchange to be an appropriate way of resolving differences. Yet many seem to think yelling, slamming doors and threatening divorce or full custody of the children is a legitimate way to express their frustrations. Some couples even think it’s acceptable to slap or push. Those couples don’t consider slapping or pushing to be violence.

Do you?

It’s very difficult for people who feel angry and frustrated to see the damage they are inflicting on the people they love. It’s hard for them to conceptualize the ways they express their anger and frustration as a form of violence. They may have witnessed their parents engaging in the very same behaviors and they may believe it’s a “normal” way to “let off steam.”

“It’s just the way we fight,” many couples say. “It’s normal. It’s no big deal. It’s not that bad.”