How to UpgradeYour Relationship Through Attachment Theory
The power of emotional bonds and how to nurture healthy connections
By recognizing that I have traits of an anxious attachment style, I can feel the shift as soon as my partner pulls away.
After years of dating, I was in a repetitive cycle, attracting avoidant partners.
As the tears streamed down my face, I felt many emotions, from extreme sadness to disappointment but mostly anger. He knew what he was doing. He was orchestrating the breakup. I was getting too close.
Although I called him out, he went into denial and shifted the blame to me, classic avoidant behaviour, leaving me questioning my intellectual feelings.
Even though I was hurt, we had to break up. The relationship wasn't going to progress; it couldn't, and if it did, we would have been looped in an anxious and avoidant trap.
Toxicity at its finest.
The anxious and avoidant trap
As my relationship ended, I realized we were both caught in the anxious and avoidant trap.
I confessed my feelings to my partner one night at dinner, which made him feel uncomfortable and begin disconnecting from me, although he told me he…