Member-only story
I Never Expected This Consent Lesson
Pre-teens, ice cream, and the real meaning of “no”
“Who wants ice cream?” My pre-teen son had finished his dinner first as usual, cleaned his plate, and wanted to serve the family dessert. He began taking orders. Before we knew it, his thoughtful intention turned into a powerful lesson on consent that I could not have arranged better if I tried.
Two bowls, one with syrup requested. I don’t eat dairy, so none for me. Then my dad, who had eaten a late lunch, said he was full and did not want any. My son thought it was funny to serve him two big scoops anyway. My dad sat quietly staring at the bowl in front of him struggling with what to say.
”Son, Grandpa said he was full remember?” I chimed in.
”He’ll eat it,” he said in his most mischievous voice.
Now, Grandpa lives with us and initiates his fair share of pranks. Their relationship includes trying to scare each other in closets and stairs. Each of them keeps a Nerf gun handy. Perhaps because he is an Army veteran, my dad seems to love being gotten. Sometimes, my son will spend a half hour crawling so quietly into the kitchenette to steal the salt while my dad is in the room watching TV. He just laughs and praises his grandson’s patience. Then he accepts clues for where to find the hidden condiment.
