10 Things Christians Get Hilariously Wrong About Jesus

Let’s ask Bible scholars?

Jonathan Poletti
I blog God.

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Sometimes I listen to Christian pastors going on and on about their God who seems to be Hell-bent on punishing people. I wonder: “Which Jesus is this?”

It’s not the one found in the gospels of the New Testament. Let’s consult some Bible scholars for a look at a deity who might surprise you.

“Jesus Christ decending…” (DALLE; 2023)

1. Jesus is funny

The gospels depict a Jesus who is “full of joy,” as in Luke 10:21. It’s a story about a spirit being who experiences materiality as jubilant. Maybe that’s the way to be Christlike?

Don’t be deceived by Christian translations. Scholars note that the religion has gone to extraordinary lengths to make the text read as slow and liturgical. Jesus has a quicksilver mind and tongue, and he’s often funny. I like Camille Paglia’s line: “Jesus was really a Jewish comedian.”

He tells a joke in Luke 14:14–24 whose details scholars painstakingly map out, since it appears to be a “dirty” joke. As it goes, three men are invited to a wedding. One declines because he has some new land to try out. The second declines because he has new oxen to try out. The third declines because he has a…

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