How to manage a crisis 101

From my “When the shit hits the fan” series of managing my own life crises.

When the shit hits the fan it can be an incredibly stressful experience. I know first hand — I feel like I have had a masters degree in crisis management in the past few years but as a result I can share some experiences in this that can be helpful to you this is your first rodeo.

We’ve all been there — we’re human, we all make mistakes and then sometimes the universe just drops a shit storm on us, the key to getting through the hardship is maintaining a focus on what’s important and not getting distracted with the part you can’t control, namely the problem.

We all have an obsession with problems, we’re all professional complainers when it comes to identifying and listing the things that bug us — that’s the motivation behind most Yelp reviews. So its our natural disposition to focus on the problem in a moment of crisis but too much worry narrows our minds view from seeing the actual solution that we are seeking. This guide will help you stay in a state of agile action which you need most right now.

The problems I’m talking about are the severe moments of crisis that paralyze us but by extension this advice can be helpful in a lot of other of life’s “situations”. Let me be clear to some degree we have to focus on the problem to better understand it but what happens is we obsess over it and that’s how we get stuck.

The key to getting the agility we need is to stop festering over the problem and let the solution or resolution come to us. This is critical, we need to react to crisis with agility because everything about being in crisis is paralyzing. Your priority is to stay fluid! Here are some of my best tips at staying fluid being present and managing your crisis;

Flip the script on your pity party!

Trust that what you’re going through is bringing you to the things you want.

This is really important. You have to consciously flip the script on the narrative that is going on. We have a tendency to blame ourselves, “Why is this happening to me?” but do yourself a favor and Cut That Shit Out! Start telling yourself that “Everything is happening for me, not to me.” There is something in this experience that you’ve been dealt that you have to learn from even if it’s not apparent to you now but it will be later, trust me.

Put your own mask on before helping others!

The airline safety instruction manual has it right; put your own mask on before helping others!

When we dwell on the problem we enter “the cave” as I’ve come to call it. It’s that dark place where you think you’re pushing through the problem by over working yourself but you’ve really just entered the cave. You have to get out because there’s no light in there! — Even though you might feel like you need to “doing everything you can to change the situation” you have to make time to exercise, follow a guided meditation, or get a massage. We store so much stress in our bodies and we need to release it out to stay functional and fluid. Do yourself a favor and give yourself a break!

Hitch your star to something greater than your situation.

Our problems form a myopic view of the world and we walk through our day with blinders on.

Focus on something beyond yourself; the infinite universe, the endless cycles of Spring Summer Fall & Winter, the cycles of life. Recognize that no matter how important this crisis is to you now that in the grand expanse of the universe and the history of humanity it’s a tiny blip in time. This is not to trivialize your problem but it’s important to see it within the relative grand scope of time. Be the sky that is permanent watching the storm pass through, remember you are not the storm itself.

Appreciate everything you DO HAVE!

It is in the darkest moments we must focus to see the light — Aristole

There was a time that I thought I was in serious legal jeopardy and believed I could go to jail and a lawyer of mine at the time said, “hey at least you don’t have cancer!”, as a way of lifting up my spirits. It was a very dark moment but she was right — you should never miss the opportunity to really appreciate life for all of it’s beauty and for everything you do have! Make an effort to appreciate even the smallest things in life you start to outweigh the gravity of your crisis with gratitude.

Help someone else

In giving to others we feel empowered, this turns your otherwise powerless situation into something of empowerment and strength.

Find a way to counsel others, join a group of others struggling with your same loss or peril when you do something magical happens and we are suddenly in power in an otherwise helpless situation. Keep giving!

My BE MIGHTY Street Art Project was a huge part of what got me through one of the most challenging times in my life. I detail it in another post called “Learning to BE MIGHTY” but the act of giving in a time of total loss helped me stay active and emboldened when I should have felt helpless and depressed.

Let that shit go!

Let go or get dragged! — Anonymous

What if you can’t find a solution? What if you can’t escape the situation no matter what?

There are many problems that don’t resolve themselves quickly and so we start to feel the grip of the fear taking hold like a paralysis and we feel like giving up.

What I’ve learned is when you’ve exhausted all your options you have no choice but to let that shit go!

I know that this sounds impossible but if you have truly exhausted your “solutions” then sometimes you have to let go of the problem and ask your higher power (god, Muhammad, Jesus, Buddha — whomever or whatever you feel is a divine force beyond yourself) to take this shit off your chest.

Crisis problems are like afflictions that are beyond our control. Sitting with the pain caused by them will not solve the problem and yet sometimes we can’t escape the pain either. Sometimes we can only seek the grace and strength to endure our hardships.

Pray not for an easy life but for the strength to overcome a difficult one. — Bruce Lee

Pain happens to us but suffering is a choice.

You are not alone, you will get through this. I hope you can find some guidance in this and some peace on your path to brighter days.

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Be well & BE MIGHTY!

Terrence