If You Meet Him, Shake His Hand
Originally published in The Spectrum Newspaper.
With five teenage boys, you can imagine things get a little rambunctious around our home. Yes, there is wrestling, video games, and a regular fury over who gets reign of the remote control. But there is also something pretty special that takes place among the these boys we call our sons.
In June, our family traveled to Primary Children’s Hospital for the first of two surgeries our 14-year-old has been waiting to have for many years. We learned early on that in order for him to walk and run effortlessly, he would require surgery. Last summer, when walking was becoming increasingly more difficult and painful, it was determined he needed it now, and we were relieved the time had finally come.
As a child, Jonah had dreams of playing football, soccer, and rugby, like his big brother, Noah. Also, of becoming a Star Wars Jedi. When he realized some of his athletic prowess would not be realistic in his youth, he turned to his imagination with Jedi focus and determination, and began developing a hobby of his own.
At age 12, he wrote his first science fiction novel on a computer. The following week, he retired modern technology and asked for a vintage typewriter and package of white paper. Jonah gets his teenage wiggles out by voraciously researching story ideas, new characters and developing plot scenarios. He saves his allowance to order typewriter ribbon on the Internet, and somehow we never tire of the clickety-clack that has become a sound staple in our home.
I bring up Jonah because last week I got to see a new side of this resilient, polite and gentle young man. Elizabeth Van Meter was in town from New York City to perform her one-woman show. Jonah and his brothers served as greeters at an open house following the performance. With an uneven gate (the second surgery happens in January), Jonah opened the front door for guests as they arrived, reached out to shake every hand, or to offer a welcoming hug, and delighted all with his charming smile and sense of humor.
Though his stature is not as tall as many of his peers, he is the teenager who rushes ahead to open and hold the door for you, the one who lingers longer to wish you a “Good day” and “Can I help?” as you juggle groceries and a gallon of milk through the parking lot to your car. It is not easy for him, but he loves to hurry to be helpful.
What surprised me about Jonah last week is what I saw happen toward the end of the evening. When his work as a greeter was finished, he and his brothers headed for the refreshment table. Noticing Elizabeth, he set his plate aside and reached out an open hand. He told her it was nice to meet her and complimented her performance. He went on to ask what was it like to create such a powerful show and to be the only person on stage with all of us watching. Thoughtfully, the questions went on, and both seemed intellectually engaged and excited about the performance of art.
This is what I treasure about Jonah. He lifts everyone he meets. Intellectually, emotionally, and wholeheartedly. As he and Elizabeth conversed, I could see that his questions were both curious and careful, and he was graceful in a grown-up discussion. He let her know that it was a pleasure to meet her, and through her response, she let him know she felt just the same. Jonah then picked up his plate and went to join his brothers on the patio.
Jonah compliments his brothers, supports them in their interests, and delights in their successes. And when he has written an epic paragraph, developed a new character profile, or comes home winner of a school essay contest, they gather around and delight right back. They are teenagers, and they love and respect each other. That is something pretty special.
If you meet Jonah, shake his hand. He’ll offer it to you.
You will look up to him.
Melynda Thorpe is a writer, television producer, documentary filmmaker and mother living in St. George, Utah.
“If you meet him, shake his hand,” was originally published in The Spectrum Newspaper. Nov. 24, 2014.
