Confessions Of a RUG (Recent (Unemployed) University Graduate)

I have a confession.

I’m a RUG, a Recent (Unemployed) University Graduate

My name is Tokoni, but call me Pi, for reasons you will understand later.

I graduated from Covenant University in June, 2016.

I am currently battling between deciding to get a job in the Consulting Industry where I will work for a few years then get an MBA, studying Law or getting a MSc in a Political Science programme.

I am job hunting, so I am currently perpetually broke. And I mean broke. I have gone from spending tens of thousands a month to taking handouts of 1,000 Naira every other week.

I bagged a first class degree at 18 and it felt good at first. But now, I feel lost and slightly depressed. I have a plan for my life. I know I’m going somewhere, but I am as lost as Pi in “Life of Pi.”

I started feeling lost after the first job I applied for turned me down at the second stage. I took it well then, but it left an impact on me that I refused to admit till now.

End of story.

Now to you, I know your secrets…

I know your secrets because they are my secrets too.

You recently graduated from the University or College (whatever you call it) and you are unemployed.

Well that’s not a secret per se.

The secret is how you feel.

Let’s confirm I am talking about you, ok?

You bagged your first degree about a year ago or less.
You are unemployed (temporary internships don’t count).
You live with your parents or guardians.

If you’re not one of these three things this post is not for you, you can close this webpage now. Or stick around for gist. (Everyone likes other people’s secrets).

If you are an undergraduate save the page on Pocket, you may need it sooner or later.

That pretty much sums it up.

So what are your secrets:

You’re bored. You’ve got lots of time on your hands. Or maybe your time is being managed by your parents. But everything you’re asked to do bores you.
You HATE living with your parents. Maybe you don’t always hate it. But you are not exactly happy about it.
You feel lost, empty or doubt your ability. You’re not sure what the future holds or you’re not sure about what happens next in your life? Maybe you have plans, but still you’re feeling like a boat on troubled water or Pi from the Life of Pi, and yes you have Richard Parker (a Bengal Tiger) by your side. Richard Parker in your case is uncertainty about the rest of your life.

Your secrets are interesting because you do not admit them. You do not tell your friend(s) or family. Maybe you do not tell even yourself. (Cheers to people who do admit them). And it’s ok not to admit your secrets. There are things we should not admit to ourselves. These secrets I’m writing about are harmless sha. And if you admit them you get over them.

Now because I know your secret and I care, I’ve got some advice

Learn to live outside school. In other words, learning to drive, to cook and everything else living requires.
READ. Read blogs, read novels, read self-help books, read your bible, read people, read a dictionary. Read! Read until you have “Readers bloc” Then read some more. Save up, use your pocket money and disturb your parents to buy and order you books. Did I hear you say no money to buy books? Well do you have a phone or tab, and iPad or a laptop? Yes? Then read soft copy books. They are easy to find. Just go on the internet. Type the book and add pdf, click the web search results and download. For example. “Malcolm Gladwell Outliers pdf”. If you don’t like soft copy books, I hope you like boredom more or you know the location of a library. (Which you should kindly comment below, somewhere in Lagos please). Click here, here, here, here and here to find recommended books for recent graduates.
Get a job, an internship, volunteer opportunity. Anything to stay busy. People like free skilled labour which you are. Work for your parents or ask them to pull strings for you. That or talk to your friends, acquaintances, they may be able to get you jobs. Also, you can go on the internet. Apply! Apply! Apply! Go and get some action.
Take a masters. Apply and wait. Believe me, it’ll take some time off your hands. Consider Lagos Business School.
Take a professional course like Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN), Chartered Institute of Personnel Management (CIPM), Cisco Certified Internetwork Expert CCIE) etcetera. You might not think you need it but you never know. And it’ll keep you busy.
Take an online course like a Coursera or Alison course.
Go for workshops: In writing or anything else.
Learn a new language: Master Japanese, French, German, Mandarin. Even Hausa counts.
Learn a skill. Anything productive like acting, modelling, baking, bead making, make up artistry, shoemaking, tailoring, baking, website designing, coding etcetera. I recommend coding.
Try Sports: So what if you have a degree. A First Class even. It is overrated. The 2016 Olympics and Paralympics have made many young people famous and fulfilled when many people with PhDs are not. If you like Sports, ngwanu try sports.
Try Music: It started when you were 14 and drummed on your desk in Secondary School. Then you used to make noise but it’s ok. Make the noise music. Maybe you don’t think you can sing. I and about half of the world love Bob Dylan (2016 Nobel Prize in Literature winner) and many people in my Church Choir have better voices than Dylan. So if you like music, motivate yourself to write lyrics or produce songs. Go and, at least try to, blow.
Start a blog or a diary. Arm the thoughts in your head with words and set them free. When you read your words later, you will be happy.
Start a project: Use a skill you already have to start something you will be proud of. For instance, if you can code, make an app.
Start a business: Maybe you had something going in University, continue it, make it a business. Maybe you’e not entrepreneurial, talk to your friends and acquaintances; one of them maybe starting a business and you can team up.
Write: You have this book or those poems you have been working on all your life. Organise them and look for a publisher. Achebe did not start where he ended. Chimamanda graduated in 2001 and published “Purple Hibiscus” in 2003. Go and start somewhere today.
Write a Paper: Different point. If you’re into academics, and you miss Univeristiy (it’s ok not to admit that too) then you should publish papers. Start by turning your final year project into a paper. Find interesting topics, go online, look for a library, write and publish online.
Travel. With limited funds and unlimited ideas, travel to places close to you. Make a good plan. Visit places around where you live that you have never been to. If you live in Lagos or Abuja, leave the Cinema alone. (You will get tired of the cinema eventually). Go to a Zoo, Museum, Park, Gallery. GO and explore the world as much as you can. Follow these links to find interesting places to “travel” to: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 within Abuja and Lagos. Or tell your parents you want to visit your village. They most likely will oblige. You can even just walk around your neighbourhood. Get out of the house!
Move out of the house: This advice is two sided. Living with your parents can be frustrating enough to motivate you do something with your life quickly. Besides where will you go? But not living with your parents or guardians can make you happy. Being a RUG is already too sad so anything that can make you feel better is welcome. The compromise is you can pay long visits to friends or your grandparents every now and then.
Keep in touch with old friends: I cannot overemphasise this. You see, you do not have many friends. Believe me, you don’t. Maybe you have 2, 4 or 10. They are not many. Every person that can go out of his or her way to make you happy is a friend. Don’t let your friends go. Keep in touch over social media. And call them as often as you can. Grab them from their houses. Let them grab you too. Start a project with them, share ideas with them. And you will get through this stage of your life happily.
Make new friends, preferably older people. One thing leaving University does to you is that it expands your life. It gives you more exposure especially to people. So if you just graduated do your best to meet new people who will take you out of your comfort zone. It’s preferable to meet older people because they have been where you are now. They will give you much needed advice and exposure. You will meet these people on Social Media, in Church or Mosque, in your neighbourhood. P. S. There is nothing wrong with having mutual friends with your parents.

Don’ts

Don’t date someone or pick up habits you are not proud of out of boredom.

Don’t envy your employed graduate friends. Life is a journey, take one step after the other and you will get where you are going. Your friends (employed or unemployed) may feel lost too. Talk to them about it.

Don’t be idle. Various mentors of mine said, just get busy one way or the other. Try out your hobbies like photography or painting.

Don’t be bored. The truth about life is that we are all bored in our own different ways. So fight boredom.

Sooooo

Enjoy your time being unemployed. Watch all the series you want and do everything else you could not do in University. You may miss your days of being unemployed later.

Feeling lost is normal. If you never get lost how will you find your own unique way? Life is made to be bleak. If it wasn’t it would be boring. Like Britt Nicole sang “Don’t let your lights go down. Don’t let your fire burn out…Don’t be afraid to stand out. That’s how the lost get found.”

You may be feeling like Richard Parker has thrown you off your boat in life

but don’t worry like Pi you will survive and thrive.

Please comment if you have advice or personal stories to share. And follow these links: 1, 2, 3 and 4 for more advice.

Now face your secrets, take my advice and, don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me 😉.

Sewa o suru (Take Care) 🙏🏿.