A Throuple in P-Town Gone Wrong.
Client’s Tale.
A few weeks ago, I was getting fucked by a couple who had invited me to their vacation rental in P-Town over a long weekend. I had met them through a friend of a friend and all of us hit it off quite well. They were both super hot — one in his mid-thirties and the other in his late-forties. I’m sure we’ve all been in an awkward throuple before, but after a few successful dinners, a weekend together, full of sex, was inevitable.
I arrived at the house in P-Town with much fanfare. Though it was less trumpets and confetti and more both of them fully naked (did I also mention they’re both vers?). I jumped right in, before any of my bags were even brought up to my room. From the pool to the hot tub to just about everywhere in the house, we fucked. And it was fucking hot.
They both wanted in me and I’m not going to lie — I wanted their nut. Due to Covid-19 restrictions, all of us got tested right before the trip (we tested negative), but no one spoke about STD tests. I guess we all figured we had been sheltered in place for so long, Covid-19 was the most important thing on all our minds. I won’t go into all the details, but let’s just say I wound up full of their seed. What a weekend. It was beyond liberating to be naked, outdoors, and finally sexual after so many months without any physical contact. I hadn’t had that much, uhm, anything in a long time.
Fast forward 3 days after we returned from our mini-vacation and I started to feel some discomfort inside my hole. Next, I experienced some lip ulcerations, accompanied by localized pain. It progressed rather quickly and since I have been a patient of Dr. Goldstein’s at Bespoke Surgical, I reached out right away via email. He agreed that it was probably an STD, and from what I described to him, concluded both Chlamydia or Gonorrhea and herpes.
My first thought: are you fucking kidding me?! Here I was, being overly cautious about Covid-19 (and I still am), and then my first time back in the saddle, boom — not only an STD, but possibly two! Dr. Goldstein started me on both antibiotics and antivirals to treat everything. Even though I experienced mild improvement, we decided to do an examination under anesthesia to make sure an abscess didn’t develop. Luckily, everything was negative and after one week of treatment, I was cured and pain free.
Despite this personal ordeal, the real kicker is what happened when I contacted the couple. They were in complete denial that this may have been caused by them. Even after I said I hadn’t hooked up with anyone besides them, they remained silent and deflected any responsibility. I was disappointed because this wasn’t a blame game. I was just trying to be responsible and let them know what happened to me and to encourage them to also get fully checked out.
After a few attempts, I gave up. Initially, I felt a sense of shame and guilt, but I managed to move on and chalk this up to simply a life lesson. A few weeks later, out of the blue, I got a text message from the older partner of the couple that said they did finally get tested and, believe it or not, they had an asymptomatic STD. The first thing I wanted to do was reply, “Go fuck yourself!”. Then, I thought about how many other people these guys hooked up with while being infected. Here we are, solely focused on Covid-19, when really we should all be focused on every communicable disease. STD’s don’t just suddenly disappear because of Covid-19.
Looking back, I don’t think the weekend tryst was worth everything that came next (no pun intended). I’m still seeking sexual liberation, but I’ve changed my approach.
My Discussion.
I always say this: people suck and not always in a good way. We all have our own sexual desires and no matter what personal precautions we take, there’s something we simply cannot control: other people’s social responsibility. We see it daily with Covid-19 and while so many people continue to be shocked by displays of selfish recklessness, people have been treating STD’s the same way for decades.
So what do we do? Do we alter or suppress our desires? Or do we assume the worst and just stay abstinent? After all, can’t your right (or left) hand just do the trick?
Practically and seriously speaking, we should follow our dreams as responsibly as possible, not only because life too short, but also because sexual desires, whatever they may be, contribute to our overall happiness and wellbeing. And they feel fucking amazing. It all just comes down to risk mitigation. The key is to assume that your sexual partners are not always acting responsibility and then be pleasantly surprised when they are.
In an ideal world, before this particular client went out to P-Town for his sexcapade, they all should have had comprehensive STD evaluations done (blood, urine, and oral and anal swabs), along with Covid-19 nasal swabs. Before the clothes come off, tough conversations, like ones about safety and risk, are important. Part of the problem is the stigma associated with STD’s. People feel uncomfortable talking about them, but ask yourself: is it more awkward to ask if everyone got tested ahead of time or to tell someone afterwards that you tested positive for an STD? When we eliminate stigma and shame, we take back control of the situation and our bodies.
So what can we learn from this particular situation?
Whether it’s a one night stand or a weekend trip, we should ask all parties involved to be evaluated for all STD’s and Covid-19. Next, what about condom usage, as well as PrEP or TasP? What’s best for you and your partners based on what activities you plan on engaging in?
In the past, I’ve spoken about a prophylactic approach. This takes away some of the responsibility from your sexual partners and puts more emphasis on you proactively arming yourself with added protection. This provides you the tools to not only live out your desires, but also mitigate potential risk.
For this client, a prophylactic dose of both Doxycycline and Valtrex could have helped reduce the transmission of STD’s and/or possibly, even if a successful transmission did occur, minimize the severity of the infection. It’s important to understand that there is always risk involved in every thing we do in life. Why is it any different when it comes to sex!? It isn’t (that was rhetorical). Don’t assume. Instead, take control of your own risk by educating yourself about the potential consequences of sexual engagement, and then weigh the risks and the benefits before you make a choice on how to act.
Regardless of what you do, we at Bespoke Surgical are here to support you with whatever lies along your sexual path — all without judgement. The only thing we ask in return is that you try to learn from the past, in the hopes of betterment for both you and the community at large.
Lastly, if someone calls you to tell you they developed an STD, it shouldn’t be thought of as a blame game. None of that helps the situation. If you need help on how to respond, try something like this, “Oh! Thank you so much for notifying me. I will get checked thoroughly and/or treated. I will also get back to you with my results. I truly thank you for being honest. Let’s circle back in the coming days and I hope you feel better.” That shit ain’t hard, is it?
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