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#IfYouAreBehind — Dr. Pepper is Vers? / Dementia in Sexual Minorities / “Tell me What You Want.”

Art — A Queer Drink for Diverse Thinkers 🤔

Did you guys get to see the new Dr. Pepper ad? Check it out below, before we make some comments. Oh, and it was recently placed in a Swedish gay magazine and covered by everyone from them to Pink News to Paper Mag.

What do you think? It was fraught with many opinions and, of course, we want to know whether you thought it was appropriate or not?

I must say, so many harsh critics are against the usual pictorial of a rainbow or the Pride flag and it’s overplayed narrative. So, kudos to Dr. Pepper for thinking outside the box, literally, and approaching the slang of a community in a new light. But, as always, some people immediately went to Twitter with some interesting, positive, and, of course, negative, remarks.

“I think the f**k not. Not sure whether this is eyeroll or anger territory but it certainly is *bad* So queer, so Vers, so kooky 🙄.”

“Finally an ad that caters to me, a sexual can of Dr Pepper”

“Dr. Peppers breaks into your room, goes right to your face, gets close to your ear, and whispers: ‘Kinks. Anyway, could you tell all the kids who do the LGBTQIA to give us their money?’”

“It’s like if they advertised to south Asian people with ‘curry… am I right?”

I think, even if the top pictured actually is the one to receive, the ad is unexpected, gutsy, and so in your face. I love it and the more and more we have companies stepping out of — even their own comfort zone — the more the exposure of different communities and their respective narratives takes shape. Now, do I think I am going to see all the gays now drinking Dr. Pepper because of this advertisement? No, probably not, but we must applaud companies that challenge the everyday norm in an innovative and educational way for betterment of everyone’s existence. I just would have moved the bottom to the top of the image as to truly place the hardest working partner in its rightful place. 😂 We gotchu’. 👊

Science — Dementia in Sexual Minorities

The Advocate covered a story on the first dementia prevalence data from a large population of lesbian, gay, and bisexual older adults that was recently reported at an Alzheimer’s International Conference. Researchers from University of California, San Francisco and Kaiser Permanente examined the “prevalence of dementia among 3,718 sexual minority adults age 60+ and found over the 9 years of follow-up, the overall crude prevalence of dementia was 7.4 percent.” As a comparison, the quoted statistical U.S. prevalence of Alzheimer’s disease dementia and other dementias for the general population age 65+ at approximately 10 percent.

I wanted to share this quote I love before we dive deeper into some facts.

“With the growing prevalence of Alzheimer’s disease dementia and the swelling population of LGBT older adults, we place a high priority on examining the intersections of Alzheimer’s disease, sexual orientation, and gender identity and expression,” said Sam Fazio, PhD, Alzheimer’s Association Director of Quality Care and Psychosocial Research. “A more thorough and thoughtful understanding of this intersection will enable us to better meet the needs of LGBT elders living with dementia and their caregivers.”


There are 2.7 million LGBT people over age 50. That number will likely double over the next 15 years.

Even with recent advances in LGBT rights, LGBT older adults are often marginalized and face discrimination.

Twice as likely to age without a spouse or partner.

Twice as likely to live alone.

Three to four times less likely to have children; greatly limiting their opportunities for support.

Forty percent of LGBT older people in their 60s and 70s say their healthcare providers don’t know their sexual orientation.

Current estimates suggest that more than 200,000 sexual minorities in the U.S. are living with dementia

“The Institute of Medicine identified the following pressing health issues for LGBT people: lower rates of accessing care (up to 30%); increased rates of depression; higher rates of obesity in the lesbian population; higher rates of alcohol and tobacco use; higher risk factors of cardiovascular disease for lesbians; and higher incidents of HIV/AIDS for gay and bisexual men (Brennan-Ing, Seidel, Larson, and Karpiak, 2014).”

So it’s beyond refreshing to have researchers start to analyze medical conditions specific to a minority community. Gathering this data is paramount to the successful healthcare all of us deserve. One can understand with all the limited support and or health related challenges they and others have faced, one may not access the services and support out of “fear for poor treatment due to their LGBT identity, and or the stigma of being diagnosed with dementia, or both.” It’s interesting to note that several studies document that “LGBT elders access essential services, including visiting nurses, food stamps, senior centers, and meal plans, much less frequently than the general aging population.” And the questions remains: is this solely on the basis of identity or are we just a much superior community? 😆 Just wanted to see if you are still reading. Of course we are superior. Ha, I’m kidding! Clearly, we need to first understand the common ailments as it pertains to a smaller subset community and with this understanding break down the ramifications all the while spearheading solutions for access and improved overall care.

I felt like this study is the first of many as we are truly the first “out” aging population of sexual minorities. And this confirms once again that seeing physicians who identify with the community or are at least trained in these issues is paramount. Elevated and specific care for our community is essential to the longevity of its individuals. We must demand to analyze and study these differences, not to marginalize further, in order to enhance our community’s lives in the most fruitful manner.

“…But — before our study — almost nothing was known about the prevalence of dementia among people in this group who do not have HIV/AIDS-related dementia,” said Jason Flatt, PhD, MPH, Assistant Professor at the Institute for Health & Aging, School of Nursing, University of California, San Francisco. “Though our new findings provide important initial insights, future studies aimed at better understanding risk and risk factors for Alzheimer’s and other dementias in older sexual minorities are greatly needed.”

The Alzheimer’s Association and SAGE suggest 16 recommendations for organizations and service providers in their Issue Brief, which you can read more about here.

Sex — “Tell me What You Want.”

The understanding of people’s sexual fantasies and/or the psychology of human sexuality has always been limited. To get into the brains of an individual is quite difficult in its own right, specifically as it relates to sex. Their demons, desires, and wants. Enter: researcher Justin Lehmiller, who “decided that we needed to know more about people’s sexual fantasies.”

His response was to develop a survey on the subject matter, primarily using social media at its best, and it wound up being completed by more than 4,000 people. “Participants — who anonymously disclosed the details of their real and imagined sex lives, from content to frequency — ranged from 18 to 87 years old. They had a wide range of jobs and incomes, and represented every state in the country. They disclosed information about their gender identity, political affiliation, and how their fantasies correlate to what they really do in the bedroom.”

So what did he find? Here are some amazing take homes, as recently reported by The Boston Globe.

Most people thought their own fantasies were rarer than they actually were.

When people think their fantasies are rare or uncommon, that’s where they start to feel all this shame, and guilt, and embarrassment.

Our fantasies say so much more than just something about our gender or our sexual orientation; they also say something about our relationship status and how we feel about our current relationship.

Most people think they are fantasizing about the Hollywood celebrities with perfect bodies, and that everyone is lusting after what they can’t have. But by far, the person who is most likely to appear in your fantasies is the person you’re currently involved with.

We are usually looking for ways to augment our current sex lives.

Our fantasies are a reflection of where we come from, but also of our current culture and what our culture tells us is desirable.


The human brain and its concoctions of sexual fantasies is beyond marvelous, yet ridiculously difficult to assess. Justin Lehmiller’s new book “Tell me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You With Your Sex Life” allows an introspective approach to dispelling any myths and/or stereotypes, as well as placate scenarios of commonalities. I did find it quite interesting that many people fantasize about the one you are currently engaging with. I do wonder if that is inversely proportional to the years together. I am just saying... 😉 But, once again, in all seriousness, we find ourselves in a wonderful sexual revolution, where the key to one’s hidden door of inner sexual turmoils allows for normalcy. It’s the understanding of one’s commonality that displaces prejudices and/or inferiority, making one’s fantasies translate to reality. And why the fuck not? Everyone should have their cake and eat it too, no?

Head over to our Instagram to tell us what you want.

Stay in touch on Instagram: me and Bespoke Surgical.



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