#IfYouAreBehind — R.I.P. Dick Leitsch / Protect Your Wang / From Top to Bottom
Activism — “Without Dick, we wouldn’t be here!”
This week, in honor of NYC Pride, I decided to write about activism, rather than art. Dick Leitsch, a pioneer and icon of the “early gay rights movement who led ‘sip-in’ protests in the 1960s”, unfortunately, passed away in New York City on Friday. What a strange coincidence not only during Pride month, but also during the exact weekend that the parade parade will make its way down Fifth Avenue and through the West Village, which he fought wholeheartedly for all of us to have the right to do so. He was 83.
Now, who really was Dick?
Born on May 11, 1935, in Kentucky, he moved to New York City in 1959 and went on to “lead the New York City chapter of the Mattachine Society, one of the oldest gay rights organizations in the country.” The Mattachine society “tried desperately to get people to accept homosexuality,” Leitsch said.
“We wanted people to see who we are, what we are.”
It was during this time that he came up with the idea for “sip-ins.” At that time in NYC, bars could serve anyone liquor, as long as one abided under a “no-questions-asked policy”. Labeling homosexuals as “disorderly,” the New York State Liquor Authority could revoke a bars’ liquor license if it knowingly served gay people.
So what did Leitsch and his friends do?
You are damn right — they went into bars stating, “We are homosexuals. We are orderly, we intend to remain orderly, and we are asking for service.” It wasn’t until they arrived at Julius’ that Leitsch announced to the bartender, who had already placed a glass in front of Leitsch, that he was a homosexual. The bartender’s hand rushed to cover the glass, a photo was snapped and history was made. The moment was not only immortalized by the Village Voice, but also because the Mattachine Society threatened to sue over the refusal of service at Julius, which prompted the New York State courts to “rule against the New York State Liquor Authority’s theory that homosexuals were inherently disorderly, which ended the practice of revoking liquor licenses for serving openly gay members of the community.”
Leitsch became an icon of the LGBTQ gay rights movement and as we marched on Sunday, we marched on the shoulders of so many that came before us.
“The gay pride movement lost a great hero.”
And we at Bespoke Surgical, also pioneers in the new frontier of gay medicine, thank Leitsch for all he has accomplished in improving our overall narrative. High in the heavens, we salute you. RIP.
Science — Protect Your Wang… but is anyone listening?
As many of you are aware and, of course coinciding with Pride, Trojan and Alexander Wang have collaborated on a collection of products, as well as a Wang-branded condom, all donning the slogan: Protect Your Wang. I am absolutely in love with fashion designers, and celebrities alike, using their following to highlight a cause in which they are passionate about, specifically when a portion of the proceeds go towards charity — this one being the LGBT Center of New York. Butt I do have one issue… You knew there had to be a ‘butt’, right? Read on.
“The ‘ProtectYourWang’ campaign amplifies an undeniably clever public health message within a purpose-driven initiative that celebrates Pride, supports inclusivity, and provides resources that improve sexual health for all people,” says the Trojan Brand Director. But what about profits? It also is a purpose-driven market to drive up revenue, no? You take the good, you take the bad…the facts of life. You get it?
What’s more interesting is the continued drive to endorse condom usage, which, of course we at Bespoke Surgical do as well, but, unfortunately, and despite all our efforts, year after year, continue to see its usage decline. And instead of changing the narrative, advancing technologies, or at least discussing other approaches for risk reduction, most companies miss the mark.
Take for instance this new study: Hookup App Use, Sexual Behavior, and Sexual Health Among Adolescent Men Who Have Sex With Men in the United States in the Journal of Adolescent Health.
Two hundred sexually experienced AMSM in the United States (M age = 16.6, 49% racial/ethnic minority) completed online survey questions assessing their use of apps specific to MSM, as well as their sexual behavior and HIV risk. Overall, 52.5% of participants reported using MSM-specific apps to meet partners for sex. Of these, most participants reported having oral (75.7%) and anal sex (62.1%) with those partners. Of those who reported having anal sex, 78.1% (n = 50) had sex with those partners more than once, and only 25.0% always used condoms with those partners. Let me repeat that :
Of those having anal sex, only 25% always used condoms.
So we can continue to make these public service announcements and launch collaborations all we want, using them to build awareness through established brands and designers/celebrities, but I am not sure they are truly effective in driving impactful change that translates to increased protection usage.
What do you think?
I’d like to pose the question to Alexander Wang: what about taking a stance on the exorbitant cost of PrEP and its ridiculous under utilization in the populations that need it most, again due to elevated cost (thanks, Gilead) in our bullshit American healthcare system? Or the loss of funding for many grants spearheading other modalities, beyond condom usage, for protecting our youth, (thanks, 45)? If the same old narrative isn’t effective, we must be part of the change. Out with the old and in with the new.
We may not yet have the tools or the right solutions, but we need to at least start the conversations. And the only way to do that is to look upon our own community to invest in this type of dialogue, with the hopes of companies providing the resources for effective solutions. We at Bespoke Surgical are trying our best to do our part. We hope you are, too.
Sex — From Top to Bottom
Take a trip into my garden… I’ve got so much to show ya….Put gas into the motor… We’ll ride the rollercoaster.
I can always tell when a top comes walking into my office. Much more reserved, shy, and embarrassed to approach the anal issues at hand. Juxtaposed with the truest of bottoms, who enter with that confident ass-strut and a mastered understanding of their hole. Butt back to the top we go.
After breaking the ice (usually with me leading the conversation), the main issue for me to understand starts with: are you a top because (1) functionally you cannot bottom, yet want to be a part of the club or (2) it’s psychological/mental and you think it’s simply not for you — wanting no part in bottoming (you just want to be able to shit without pain or bleeding or something sticking out of your asshole)? These are two very different approaches to follow in my medical and surgical treatment algorithms and expertise.
Now, take the top who wants to cross over to the better side. Further questioning leads me to the expectations of the bottoming newbie and exactly how far he wants to go. Is it a once every two months enjoyment with an average size cock or is it two to three times a week with Jon Hamm and Justin Bieber? Clearly these different narratives play an enormous effect on the approach to corrective actions.
The lack of formal sexual education during our formative years — I believe this is partly the medical community’s fault— leads to incorrect approaches to obtaining the skills necessary to properly engage. And despite that lack of knowledge, some assholes are for sure limited in bottoming regardless. Hell, some of them can’t even shit correctly! So how, in this situation, can you take the big kielbasa? It’s very difficult indeed.
The truest of admissions by the client during my consultation allows me to completely understand the situation at hand, to make sure the expectations match the realistic end results. Without these, aligning my success will be limited.
Take for instance: in a new interview with GQ, Troye Sivan was pressed with clarifying what ‘Bloom’ was really about after initially claiming it’s “a human experience that I think is really beautiful.” He refused to comment if it’s about anal sex, but did say, “The only reason I haven’t spoken about the specifics of it is purely because sex is embarrassing. My parents read every single interview I ever do, I’m not speaking on it for personal reasons.”
In order for us to truly make progress when it comes to sexual education, we must spin the narrative away from any form of embarrassment. Sex isn’t anything to be embarrassed about. And we would love for superstars like Troye to go beyond just the lyrics and try to destigmatize the subject. Owning the “bloom” would be nice, but at least the lyrics have started a wide-spread conversation (no pun intended), one that the gay community, in particular, is all talking about.
If you find yourself an embarrassed top with the actual mindset of a bottom, don’t fret. There are so many approaches available to allow one to engage however one desires. Form, function, and aesthetics are the key core components to corrective action. Are there functional limitations in the muscles or skin fully relaxing? What about any current ailments limiting form and function, like tears (anal fissures), dilated veins (internal or external hemorrhoids), and/or remnant extra-skin (skin tags from fissures or hemorrhoids)? Is it able to physically open, but mentally is limited in control? And, finally, how does it look? Is it lickable? Or has extra skin caused irritation and pain on engagement? There are many questions and ways to approach the three pillars of correction. If you follow us regularly, let’s also not forget the approach of serially dilating and/or the use of Botox to engulf the “Hulk” of cocks or even a fist.
All in all, I just wanted to share with you my approach on the conversion of a top to a bottom, or more so, someone who wants to add these electrifying sexual acts to their repertoire. The more we talk and engage on these subjects, the more we at Bespoke Surgical hope to improve gay sexual education overall, as well as help clients to satisfy every desire they have. Top today, bottom tomorrow — whatever you want. Rock on. Or in. 😂
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