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PSA — 5 Steps To Keeping Your Booty Primed for Bottoming

If you are a true bottom, then you know that the key to continued success is not only to bottom, but to bottom often. However, in times like these, that may not be an option and I understand that. That’s why I’m letting you in on a little secret: buy an anal dilation kit. Remember: the asshole is in contraction mode for almost 24 hours a day and if it is not periodically dilated (both the muscle and overlying skin), it won’t be able to fully relax, especially when the demands are present (i.e. when you’re having sex). It’s a use it or lose it muscle, just like any other muscle in your body. That’s why consistency is key. We all know how hard it is to jump back into a workout after days or weeks of avoiding the gym and jumping back onto a cock is no different.

Here is my 5 step plan to help you keep your hole in tip top shape while you practice physical distancing.

Step 1: Purchase an anal dilation kit (if you don’t have one already)

Dilator kits come in a variety of price points and materials. We recommend finding a kit that has 3–4 plugs that range in size and opting for either glass or high quality silicone. Ones made of vinyl or low grade silicone can be irritating to the delicate skin in the anal region. If you’re someone who prefers silicone lube, we recommend the Dosha Glass Anal Plug Kit; however, if you prefer water-based lube, the Doc Johnson Mood Trainer Set is a great choice. If you’re shopping around, be sure to look for plugs that have a flared base (so that they don’t get lost up inside you).

Step 2: Stock up on high quality lube

Lube is essential for anal play and it’s important you find one that’s high quality. We recommend using water-based Flip Lube specifically post-surgery, but also when you are playing with silicone toys. It has a low osmolality, which means that it minimizes any harmful effects, like causing irritation and/or burning, as well altering the anal microbiome. As for silicone-based lube, we recommend Uber Lube. Its slickness and durability help ensure anal sex goes smoothly. Both options are available for purchase in our newly launched online shop.

Step 3: Learn the routine

Remember: there’s no such thing as too much lube. First, take a healthy amount of lube and apply it to both your hole and your smallest dilator. Then, slowly insert the dilator until it meets resistance. Hold it there for 3–5 seconds. Remove it, re-lube it, and then repeat. Please keep in mind: you only need 4–5cm (2") to pass the anal muscles. This should be repeated with 8–12 reps per set and 2–3 sets per session (just like a traditional workout).

If it slides in nicely, you can go further, especially if using it for pleasure. However, it’s not advisable to go all the way in since it can go beyond the muscle, which can cause unnecessary tearing upon removal. If you climax, that’s perfectly fine. Just remember that the usual reflex is to contract all muscles so try to resist complete contraction in order to gain better control of these muscles.

Personally, I love doing this routine as I shower. This approach makes for super clean up. And just like brushing your teeth before bed, you can add this to your night time rituals.

Step 4: Play with your toys

While the exercises in Step 3 may seem very methodical (they are), you can also invest in a toy that you can use for pure pleasure. This is another great way not only to exercise your anal muscles, but also to get off. When looking for toys, make sure you are seeking out ones either designed specifically for anal or ones that have a base. This can be a pair of balls or some other flared bottom with a circumference larger than the insertable portion to prevent the toy from slipping inside you entirely — now is especially not the time for an emergency visit to the doctor to remove it. Also, be realistic about the length and girth. You can cause some serious harm if you buy a toy that’s bigger than your ass can handle. Always remember to gradually increase girth and length as you progress to larger toys (and cocks).

Step 5: Getting back on top

Once the time comes and you can start bottoming again with other people, I recommend using the plugs alone (before meeting up with your top(s)) or during play, and always make sure you start out slow and as the one in control. This is best achieved by sitting on top of your partner, which allows you to more easily control the depth and speed of penetration.


The ass is a delicate and necessary part of all our lives and periodic use of your hole can help prevent bigger problems. In order for it to be fully accessible when we want it (or when we are able to have it), we must frequently exercise it. The muscles and skin react to non-use and, unfortunately, without regular use, it can lead to not only inappropriate relaxation, but also subsequent injury. The “use it or lose it” mentality should not be forgotten within the anal community and what better time than while physically distancing to learn to fuck yourself correctly? Keep your ass right and tight so that soon enough, you can be ass up and open for the taking!

Don’t forget to stay in touch on Instagram: me, Bespoke Surgical, and Future Method.



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Dr. Evan Goldstein

Dr. Evan Goldstein

NYC Gay Surgeon discussing ASS: A\rt, S\cience, and S\ex