PSA: How a Simple Test Can Improve Your Sex Life

Are you loose as a goose, tight as a drum, or just absolutely perfect? If you couldn’t guess already, I’m referring to your asshole — from the rim through the anal canal. Now that we have your attention, please take a few seconds to think about your answer. Then, plow on.

Most of us think our holes are just right, but truth be told, we don’t actually know. Why? Because most of us have never gotten an anal manometry exam. Honestly, I doubt most of us even know what that is. It’s not everyday that you or your partner(s) discuss the tightness of our holes, analyzing its functionality and how that plays into our pleasure (or pain).

That’s where Bespoke Surgical comes in.

Believe it or not, anal manometry exams should accompany your annual sexual physicals, becoming a standard that’s done every year if you engage in anal play. Of course, only if you care about the preventative or restorative health of your hole. This annual check encompasses many facets, including formal and complete sexual history (the very first time), followed by updates or changes, and then a comprehensive physical exam. This in-and-out evaluation (anoscopy via a microscope) also includes a full STD panel with an anal pap smear to check for any precancerous changes. While performing the anoscopic exam (in layman’s terms — that lighted camera scope thingy), we are also cognizant of muscle function. You’ll be asked to squeeze my finger as tight as you can and then push out the pelvic floor like you’re going #2. These exercises allow us some element of understanding of your muscle functionality. But clearly it’s limited and beyond subjective. Hence the use of the anal manometric test.

We have used this machine for years to work with pelvic floor pathologies and aid in fecal incontinence; however, at Bespoke Surgical, we’ve realized it can also help optimize your hole before, during, and in between bottoming sessions. The testing is super simple and only takes about 20 minutes. A thin, well-lubricated catheter will be passed painlessly through your anus into your distal rectum/proximal anal canal. You will be asked to perform several simple muscle actions that include resting, squeezing and lifting, pushing, coughing, and so on. These maneuvers are displayed and recorded as line graphs on a computer to be used for future comparison.

Why should we be adding this testing to our annual anal armamentarium (say that ten times fast!)? It’s really the only way to determine the looseness (or tightness) of our holes. “The perfect hole” is a characterization that’s thrown around quite loosely — pun intended — because everyone’s definition of “perfect” is different. What I may want out of (or rather inside of) my ass may be something totally different than you. With that said, there is a scientific way to figure out where you stand (or sit) and whether you need optimization or not. I like to break it down into three different categories: maintenance and prevention, tightness, and elasticity / looseness. Let’s dive in.

Prevention

If your hole is perfect, then the main question is: how do we keep it that way? It starts with knowing all of your anal pressures and understanding its baseline. That way, you’re actually able to evaluate year-over-year changes and, if there are any, we can work with you to recalibrate.

The understanding of the above allows for us to truly gain the knowledge on anatomy and function. With that, we can implement changes to our daily routines to offset any potential negative consequences to our anal actions. Better shitting, improved diet, change in exercise routines and strengthening, and adding toy play that actually relaxes and contracts the pelvic floor. All of these will help sustain your defined perfection. Bravo.

Tightness

Over and over again we see repeat injuries or those who are abstaining from bottoming and the anal pleasures we all seek. Why?Because some of us are too fucking tight! And no, not the good kind of tight — the tight that creates pain, uncomfortableness, and that urge to yell “just take it out!”. It happens more than we think and the best way to tackle the situation is through obtaining data. The scientific approach to anal sex gives us the knowledge to know if better dilating techniques will do the trick, if we need Botox injections, or if a surgical approach is warranted. Gone are the days of guessing thanks to a simple and easy test like the anal manometry exam to confirm or prove your hole is needs help. And pairing this newly obtained data with our in house physical therapist allows for the success of all our sexual engagements. Being too tight means bottoming can be restrictive, but it doesn’t mean you have to suffer through it.

Looseness

On the other side of the spectrum is someone who suffers from looseness or loss of elasticity. The sensations for you and your partners may be diminished sexually. This can often present itself with the inability to achieve a full orgasm or get off. Other issues can include flatulence or even fecal incontinence. When it comes to bottoming, the physicality starts to fuck with your mind, altering your emotional connectivity to any sexual play.

However, if we were monitoring your anal pressures yearly through our anal manometry program, we would be able to nip this in the (rose)bud, hopefully reversing or preventing any long term damage. Muscle contractility is easy enough to measure and when we have this knowledge, we can implement medical and surgical approaches and techniques to optimize performance. There is so much that can be done, ranging from non-invasive protocols to more formal surgical techniques, all aiding in the recovery of function. Why be loose when you can be just right?

Conclusion

As you can see, I am beyond passionate about anal sexual health. I am working day in and day out to provide not only an educational platform, but also diagnostic and corrective actions for all of us. The first step in everything we do is to provide the resources and have these frank discussions. Far too often, people simply lack easy access to proper care. Once we define the problem and provide the scientific rational, we can develop the resources towards shaping a better future. Data is knowledge and having a manometric anal exam each year will revolutionize how we approach anal sex.

So, let’s go back to the start. Are you loose as a goose, tight as a drum, or just absolutely perfect? Whatever you are, we support you and will always have your back(side). The key is to keep your ass optimized and functional and the best way to do that is by having a team to support how you play, without any judgement or stigma. This is our world, our community, and our remedies.

To learn more or to make an appointment for your specialized anal manometry exam, head to our website and book your consultation today. Most insurances cover the exam, but when you register through our website, we will run your insurance to confirm your benefits coverage.

Better sex through a simple exam? Yes, please!

Don’t forget to stay in touch on Instagram: me and Bespoke Surgical.