Tales from the Hall — Advocating for the Next Generation

Bullying and harassment comes in many different forms and, unfortunately, it’s often the youth who experience the brunt of it. Society, as a whole, has become much more accepting of the LGBTQ+ community, but certain recent events have shown that there is still much progress to be made. Below is a tale from a gay high school student who faced all sorts of bullying prior to him coming out, but generally, after identifying as part of our community, was accepted. Later, however, he realized how much more there is to fight for after the results of November 8, 2016.

The Tale:

For as long as I can remember, I have been surrounded by people who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community.

When I was younger, I was not fully aware about what being gay was and what it meant, but I didn’t care because I didn’t think that it there was difference between straight love or same sex love. I didn’t care what other people thought of my loved ones, and to this day I still don’t; as long as they are happy that’s what really matters to me, and their love is what matters to them.

Ironically, when I identified as straight, I was bullied more for my sexuality than I have been in the duration of me coming out. I don’t know what their reason was for bullying me, but it taught me how to stand up for myself in the face of opposition. When I was in middle school I was frequently harassed and one of the times I was abruptly told, “Oh my god, you are so annoying, you should just shut up, no one even likes you!” In an effort to embarrass them I replied with, “No, I will not take off my pants!” By doing that I ended up as the one being hauled into the Vice Principals office the next morning, on my stepfathers birthday. I have truthfully had an excellent time since coming out with almost no one having an issue with my sexuality.

Growing up, my parents had taught me that being accepting of others, rather than making everyone fit a certain standard, will make you a stronger person. Now more than ever, being older, I am able to realize how different everyone really is and treating others simply by how you wish to be treated, will take you further than you holding everyone but yourself to a certain moral standard.

If there is one thing that we, as people, can do for those around us, it’s to live a life that promotes acceptance and positivity towards those with good intentions.

When our new President was elected, I stayed in school and was silent for the rest of the week. I remained silent to metaphorically speak up against the rhetoric that has been occurring as of late. I also kept silent for the men and women who lost their lives because of that rhetoric, whether it was a hate crime or because of suicide that caused a person’s life to come to their untimely end.

The day after the election, I got a glimpse into what elder LGTBQ+ members had been fighting for all these years. It terrified me. That gave me a new respect for what they had to fight against and what they fought for. Stonewall is just one example of the countless times the LGBTQ+ has shown strength and resilience in the face of opposition, and the dedication they have for the future, their future, and our future. It shows that we are strong individuals, and that together we can all be just as strong.

When there is an injustice made, we can’t just let it happen.

We have to stand together, hand in hand, and we have to stand against it.

My Discussion

It’s widely known that the LGBTQ+ community currently faces discrimination and has throughout history. It has come in many forms: Laws, attitudes, exclusions, stigmas, and violence. The above story is just one of those examples. In the United States, while there has been (overdue) progress in recent years, there is still a long way to go to before the community is seen as equal in both the eyes of society and the law. Everyone in the community, like the student in the tale, has a story to share about discrimination or bullying.

At Bespoke Surgical, we’re part of this process to achieve equality. I started the practice because there was a gap in healthcare for gay men, and filling gaps like those is part of our mission. Since our founding, we’ve become a resource for the LGBTQ+ community for topics that individuals cannot get elsewhere or cannot get accurately and honestly.

I was strategic in placing our offices in diverse, urban locations — like NYC and LA — because I felt as if everyone is open and progressive. However, it’s easy to take this for granted when, elsewhere, others are still marginalized, facing serious implications and ramifications for being a part of the LGBTQ+ community. But to what extent? And does this change with each new generation? What are these issues at hand? And the million dollar question: how do we creative corrective actions so that support is commonplace?

This leads to one of the topics that we’ve dedicated ourselves to is the discussion of discrimination in all of its forms. That’s why we’ve created a scholarship with that in mind. Our 2018 “Advocacy for LGBTQ+” Scholarship asks students of any sexual orientation and any gender identity to talk about the discriminations and stigmas faced by the LGBTQ+ community, whether they’ve experienced it personally or witnessed it. Then, we ask students to discuss what needs to happen in order to change and improve society.

In early September, we’ll announce a winner and award $2,000 to the deserving student. We’ll feature segments of their essay on our company site and may include a few honorable mentions as well. We believe this will help further the discussion and inspire others. After all, if we don’t talk about discrimination, we won’t hear about it. If we don’t hear about it, how can we identify the problems that we need to fix?

We’re honored to be able to offer this to students across the country and humbled to be able to be part of the conversation. We feel that giving the next generation the opportunity to weigh in on discrimination faced by the LGBTQ+ community is important; we look forward to reading their submissions!

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