Fear, Sleepless Nights, and Being a Small Business Owner
Right now I m sitting in our darkened living room. Fred, our Great Dane, is breathing heavily in sleep at my feet while our Yorkie Juan is snuggled tightly against my lap. It’s 2:44 am and I have been up for hours.
When you are small business owner, sleepless nights happen. Tonight I was tossing and turning because I couldn’t stop thinking about the new community I am launching. Yes, part of it is because I am totally obsessed with the exciting potential of what I might create — an amazing micro-community of trust, open sharing, strategizing, and transforming business. But the other part of why I can’t sleep is fear.
Fear. Of. Failure.
There. I’ve said it.
Daytime work keeps that fear quiet, stuffed deep down inside. It’s only during the quiet still of the night that the Naysayer in my head creeps forth like a masked thief determined to steal my dreams.
You see, I’ve made a big point of talking publicly about my new project on Facebook, tweeting about it, and putting it on Linked In. I’ve been writing posts here on Medium about my grandiose plans to create a unique community just for marketers. Countless people have said, “I can’t wait to see it in action,” which means they are watching to see how it goes.
So, as I sit here typing this in the dark, a little voice inside my head is saying, “What if nobody signs up?”
Plan for the Worst Case Scenario
There’s a saying for entrepreneurs and it is “Fail fast” so you can pivot to what will succeed. While I have had the good fortune of many successes, I’ve also had my share of failures.
Joe and I put on a health and fitness show that left us in a rented ballroom full of exhibitors but absolutely no attendees in sight. A gross miscalculation on a date for a blogging conference left the attendance at less than half of what we were anticipating. Failure is painful and embarrassing and the Naysayer is always there taunting me in the darkness. Sometimes she is just a whisper; other times, like tonight, she is screaming
Surviving the Nuclear Option
The best way I have learned to combat this Naysayer in my head is to go ahead and determine the absolute worst case scenario and then work up from there. I figure if I can survive the nuclear option, then I’ll be okay.
So, the worst case scenario for my new community is this:
- Nobody signs up.
- People do not value my marketing experience or having complete access to me.
- Everybody, friends and family, witnesses my failure.
Ouch. That was hard to write.
But that’s exactly what the Naysayer in my head is telling me — that I am worthless.
She’s telling me people will not pay to have access to my knowledge and years of experience. The Naysayer is asking who am I to think that I have something valuable to offer others? She is saying I’m a fool to assume this idea of a micro-community might work.
Shut. Up.
How many times have you heard this Naysayer in your own head? Trampling your dreams, pulling you down, holding you back? As Suzy Kassem wrote, “Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
So if my worst case scenario is nobody signing up and everyone knowing about it… I then have to ask myself, Can I survive?
The simple answer is yes.
I still have my health, a loving family, and a good brain in my head. So, while it would be painful and embarrassing, I would survive.
There. I’ve said it. I’ve shined a light on the Naysayer and told her to bring her worst, because I will still be standing at the end no matter what happens.
Gah.
Now that I have realized my fear, the room has become lighter, my breathing a bit easier. I am no longer paralyzed with the thought of failure.
I am Worthy
And now that Naysayer is being quieted, I have room for other thoughts, ones filled with light and hope. What if my new project succeeds? What if this micro-community becomes the start of something so powerful that it is a revolution of how people share and communicate? What if it empowers others to achieve something beyond their wildest dreams?
I have learned an insane amount of marketing know-how over the last several years. I have mentored hundreds of bloggers, interacted with industry experts, engaged in learning by doing. I’ve created one of the biggest blogging conferences in the southeast. I’ve pitched worldwide corporations and helped them create winning social media campaigns.
I’ve grown a website to over 100,000 views monthly and have had over 160,000 unique viewers tune in to see a single broadcast. I’ve published e-Books, magazines, and have even launched a TV channel.
I have worked hard and what I have learned is pretty damn valuable. If it had no value, then people wouldn’t ask to pick my brain. But people are always asking me for my advice, my guidance, and my feedback. They are wanting access to my database of online influencers and asking how to best to work with them.
I am paid big bucks by corporate clients to share my expertise.
Damn you, Naysayer! Get out of my head because I don’t have time for you!
Silence Your Naysayers
So, how do you silence your Naysayers? (And remember, they aren’t always in our head.) Sometimes it is a family member or friend who doesn’t quite see your dreams in the same way you do. Other times it is a business associate who doesn’t understand how you will achieve your end game. Sometimes it is a casual acquaintance that suggests you abandon your mission to pursue something easier.
Fight those negative voices by surrounding yourself with cheerleaders and cheerdoers. Cheerleaders are the ones who support us chasing our dreams; the ones who tell us to get back up when we fall flat on our faces. (Thanks, Mom!) They are every bit as important to our achieving our goals as any other ingredient. I’m fortunate to have cheerleaders like Alex Hanse, Christie Cronan, and Josh Murdock encouraging me to not give up and stay the path no matter how hard it gets.
But I have cheerdoers, too. Cheerdoers are elusive because first you have to identify your weaknesses, your obstacles, your shortcomings, and then you have to identify the cheerdoers who can help you overcome them. Making it even more challenging is you have to actually ask a cheerdoer for help. And that’s hard to do.
Too often small business owners rely solely on themselves rather than building a community of support because asking for help is uncomfortable. We’re supposed to have all the answers on our own, right? Right?
Learning to ask for help is a key step to success, and this point was hammered into me by my cheerdoer Pam Hoelzle. I fortunately also have Justice Mitchell, Tom Jelnek, Dennis Littley, and Cory Warren among my cheerdoers. They each have concrete skills that I rely upon to enhance my business, hone my craft, and reach the next stage of my business plan.
Let Me be Your Cheerdoer
By nature I am a cheerleader. I enjoy believing the best in people and encouraging them to fulfill their potential. But I am an even better cheerdoer because empowering you is vital. Sure, I can tell you how wonderful you are, but if I can give you the know-how to ensure your success, then even better.
So through this micro-community, I won’t just be a cheerleader for you, saying you CAN do it. I will also tell you HOW to do it, WHAT TOOLS to use, GIVE you examples to copy, WALK you through the process, and then HELP you measure your success.
And that’s really what this new project is about: creating a group of cheerleaders and cheerdoers to help you succeed faster and cheaper.
My new community launches in just a few days on November 1st, and you can find all the details about it at MarketersInMind.com. It is only available to 20 people for just 6 months because I am going to be your loudest cheerleader and busiest cheerdoer. This will be a micro-community packed with power.
Everything you want is just on the other side of that fear. Stifle your Naysayers, develop a plan, find your cheerleaders and cheerdoers, and believe that you have the ability to achieve it.
And when your Naysayer asks, “Who are you to dream such things?” respond with, “Who am I not to?”
Until next time, friend, may your marketing be meaningful and your time well-used.
