A face of mental illness
Mental illness affects everyone: If you aren’t someone, you know someone. So what does this look like? In this instance, it’s a seemingly happy, well-loved 52-year-old man.
By Kylee Haueter | Investigative Reporter
On May 22, 2017, senior nursing major Taylor Asfahl and her family received a call that changed their lives. A body pulled from the Mississippi River was confirmed to be that of Asfahl’s father, who had been missing since May 3.
On the outside, Jeffrey Asfahl appeared happy. Always seen with a smile on his face, he loved his family and often frequented his children’s sports games and school events.
On the inside, Jeffrey was fighting a battle.
Jeffrey fought bipolar disorder for 12 years before his passing. As an advocate for the National Alliance on Mental Illness, he helped other people fight their own battles by speaking to colleges, police officers and other legislative personnel.
This battle is one that many people know all too well. A study conducted by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services foundation found that in 2018, 19.1 percent of U.S. adults experienced mental illness. And 43.3 percent of these people actually received treatment.
Mental illness manifests in many different ways and appears differently for everyone.
“For anxiety, it may mean panic attacks,” Asfahl said. “For depression, it may mean wanting to be alone, feeling dragged down excessively, etc.”
“Don’t try to minimize any of their emotions, and never blame them for how they may be feeling or acting out of mental health.” — Makayla Shepard, Taylor’s best friend
Asfahl’s best friend and roommate at the time, Makayla Shepard, was there for Asfahl during the ordeal and supported her in every way that she knew how.
“My advice for someone who has a roommate struggling with any mental health concerns is to just simply be there for them. Listen to their worries and concerns, check in on them,” Shepard said. “Don’t try to minimize any of their emotions, and never blame them for how they may be feeling or acting out of mental health. Make sure they are aware of the resources and help that is available on campus and in the community.”
Shepard listened to Taylor’s needs and cared for her exactly where she was at, which Asfahl believes helped her through the situation.
“I think the best thing that friends and roommates can do is to love and care for someone exactly where they are at… I feel most cared for by my roommates and friends when they recognize that I am off and can sit me down and talk things through, or do things for me that they know bring me joy,” Asfahl said.
Watching her father fight mental illness has given Taylor a new view on life. Much like her father, she has a heart for people and has wanted to be a nurse since. middle school.
“I think I have grown in more ways that I can even comprehend or tangibly see,” Taylor said. “I also have a newfound perspective on people’s stories and aches of their heart…I find joy in serving and loving on people,” Taylor said. “I think there is something really beautiful in getting to meet people where they are at.”
Eventually, she foresees herself pursuing mental health nursing or getting more involved with NAMI in honor of her father’s legacy by speaking about her experience or even by supporting other family members through their own journeys.
Asfahl says that often times, people who suffer with mental illness feel as if they are unloved and worthless.
“When people can’t measure up, they think they will be rejected, shunned, cast out, etc.” — Kathy Nevins, psychology professor
“There is so much hurt in the world, and unfortunately it is something that goes so unseen,” Asfahl said. “Mental health isn’t a horrible thing, but what it does to people is horrible.”
There is a societal stigma surrounding mental illness, making it hard for people to take the necessary steps to get help.
“Getting help when in pain isn’t really about being vulnerable. It’s about having the energy to do so, the access to do so, the self awareness to do so,” Bethel University Psychology Professor Kathy Nevins said. “When people can’t measure up, they think they will be rejected, shunned, cast out, etc.”
“It is not a joke. Your life is not a joke. You being here is not an accident. God picked you, chose you, and would again a hundred million times. If you or someone you know needs help, ask. Talk about it. Call someone… anyone.” — Taylor Asfahl, senior nursing major
Bethel provides many resources and Asfahl encourages people that may be struggling to reach out and get help.
“It is not a joke. Your life is not a joke. You being here is not an accident. God picked you, chose you, and would again a hundred million times. If you or someone you know needs help, ask. Talk about it. Call someone… anyone.”
Support: Call someone for help
Below is a list of hotline numbers that provide free and confidential help 24/7, 365 days a year:
- 1–800–662–4357 (SAMHSA National Helpline)
- 1–800–273–8255 (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline)
- Text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line)
- 1–800–273–8255 and press 1 (Veterans Crisis Line)
By the numbers:
- 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness every year
- 1 in 25 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness every year
- 43.3% of adults with mental illness received treatment in 2018
- Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among people aged 10–34 in the U.S.
Source: NAMI Mental Health By the Numbers
