Is Bethel building a marriage idol?
Bethel Student Ministries has a night for an open dialogue regarding romantic relationships.
By Megan Hayton and Serena Hodge
Daniel Parkin, the residence director at Edgren Hall, blurts out “Yes, basically the Bachelor.” He was answering the question: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Parkin spoke at Bethel Student Ministry’s Singleness and Sweethearts event March 22 in The Underground.
The guest speakers each represent a stage of relationships:
- Daniel Parkin, single
- Dan Magu, new to dating
- Shelby Kate Christopher-Henry, newly married
- and Kendall Davis, married 17 years.
Parkin redacted his comment by advising, “If you don’t know someone and you think you’re in love with them, you’re probably just in love with an idea of them.”
The laughing crowd quieted like a tea kettle removed from a burner.
At 8:55 p.m., about 20 people trickled through the doors under the pink, red and white heart banners. Soon the initial handful of guests become a crowd of 91, as chatty women, couples and freshman RAs with Shack in toll, streamed in.
“Will you be mine?” Sweetheart candies were passed around to guests by Student Ministries members. Questions from the audience are delivered to the speakers through a form accessed by a QR code.
Davis wanted to dissuade the women in the audience from “Ring by Spring” culture at Bethel. “Ring by Spring’’ is the idea that two people meet in the fall semester and then are engaged by the following spring semester.
“All right ladies, I want you to hear me.” Davis announced, “The average female college graduate does not get married until 25 to 28 years old.” — Kendall Davis, speaker
Davis sought to normalize singleness and see the reality of it outside of Bethel University’s subculture. Parkin brought up his own experience of idolizing marriage.
“Over the years, I think what I found myself doing was kind of making an idol out of marriage,” Parkin confessed.
Sophomore Evie Sellner, a freshman attendee, has just begun her dating journey. It is her first year at Bethel University, and just in time for the Christmas Gala, said found the man she hopes to marry. She went to the event with her boyfriend to grow in their understanding of a biblical relationship. She left with deeper insights.
“This person is gonna be great and fun,” Sellner said, “but there is a lot more in relationships, more investment, more sacrifice and time for developing relationships.”
Self-sacrificial love was a recurring theme for each speaker throughout the event, for a God-centered relationship. Magu is in the process of dating and is learning the value of giving up time for his girlfriend.
“And I’ll be the one to be making the sacrifices for the other person and vice versa,” Magu said. “It’s a two-way street.”
This event was arranged to give students more perspectives and understanding on the different seasons of partnership.
“I hope that they feel encouraged and feel like they’re being met where they’re at,” Christopher-Henry said.
