Living as a Palestinian Muslim in Minnesota
Leena Darwish. a PSEO student, has dealt with many trials when it comes to her ethnicity and her religion.
By Angela Gonzalez | Reporter
A fifth-grade Leena Darwish watched her friend walk past with his friends. In a split second, she remembers he knows now. He knows her ethnicity.
She brushes the thought away. The two of them were close and had a relationship like Tom and Jerry. They enjoyed pushing each other’s buttons. When nearing him and his gaggle of friends, she knew she wouldn’t be surprised if he cracked a joke at her. Yet, once his joke escaped his mouth, she was taken off guard, almost not believing what he just said. It was meant to hit deep and she had no idea why. And it stuck around for a whole year.
“Hitler.”
That was what she was now known to her once close friend.
Darwish, now a junior in high school, has lived in Minnesota for as long as she can remember. She attends both Spring Lake Park high school and Bethel University for PSEO. She enjoys Bethel and the more mature environment it gives. Even though Darwish isn’t Christian, she’s happy to know that Bethel’s beliefs are similar to hers. While she’s never tried to shy away from her ethnicity, her beliefs are a more personal matter.
“Christianity and Islam are very similar, so I find like a common peace here,” Darwish said. “But a lot of people find confusion and I’m not afraid exactly, but I just don’t want to deal with the weird looks.”
Growing up, both her parents made sure that Darwish was proud of who she is.
Darwish’s family and her two visiting half-brothers gathered together in the living room. All eyes were on the flashing T.V. as live footage of people expressed their anger about the most recent attack on Palestinians by the IDF military. Darwish knew exactly how these people felt. All of this was wrong.
“I remember feeling so angry and heated,” Darwish said. “My brother on the other hand, who is about five years older, didn’t have as much passion about the subject as I did.”
Her brother began saying things along the lines of, “Why do we fight so hard for land? At this point aren’t we doing this to ourselves?” Darwish’s father was immediately filled with disappointment. He lectured Darwish’s brother on what’s right and wrong, and why they should all stand up for their land. Darwish slowly watched her brother’s face turn bright red in embarrassment.
“My dad had a point though,” Darwish said. “My brother needed to understand the value and meaning behind what’s happening back home and why, and it’s clear he hasn’t been around us enough to learn the importance.”
Darwish began fasting at the age of eight, took part in holidays such as Ramadan and Eid and is reminded to pray her five prayers each day by her mother. Yet, there have been struggles for Darwish in accepting her religion and dealing with the stereotypes of being Palestinian.
At age 10, Darwish began questioning her faith. Questions filled her head — Why was she different from others? Why should I believe what my parents say? Why do my parents tell me all that they do? — Darwish believed she took her mother off guard when asking for answers.
“I think she was scared that I could see things differently,” Darwish said. “And that’s when I decided to do research on my own and I then think that she was very happy at the fact that I got more into my faith rather than away from it.”
Darwish’s research consisted of reading the Holy Book more, comparing and contrasting with other religions and searching the web. When a harder question came to mind, that’s when she went to her parents for help. Especially her mother, helping Darwish make sense of her troubles and reassuring her. She was soon satisfied and trusted in her religion.
During that time, Darwish didn’t outright say she was questioning her faith. It wasn’t until after when she talked more in depth about it with her mother that she realized that was what was happening.
What it all really boiled down to was that her faith had been fear based.
“I’m just very glad that at the end of this period, she came closer to God on her own,” Wafa Suliman, Darwish’s mother said. “And found God’s love and learned how to love her religion in a way I clearly wasn’t able to explain to her.”
“They just wanted to laugh, and then it hit me, oh, this is ignorance. I now don’t blame them and I forgive them because they didn’t know.” — Leena Darwish, PSEO student
Darwish is now confident in her faith, and her pride in her culture has not wavered. But there are times when her ethnicity comes with stereotypes. One stereotype that she’s experienced first hand is the notion that Palestinans hate Jews. Darwish believes this comes about due to the conflicts happening in Palestine over ethnicities, religion, culture and politics. This led her to being called “Hitler” for a year in school.
“It was very difficult and I was very upset,” Darwish said. “But at the same time, I tried to clarify and they didn’t want to hear it. They just wanted to laugh, and then it hit me, oh, this is ignorance. I now don’t blame them and I forgive them because they didn’t know.”
“I feel like good deeds should go unnoticed. It’s between you and your faith, and you and your good conscience.” — Leena Darwish, PSEO student
Now, Darwish makes sure her friends are aware and if other’s ask, she’s happy to share. Her mother saw her eagerness to help those over in Palestine, so when Darwish first got a job at 16, her mother told her about an opportunity to sponsor orphans.
“She became very attached to the idea of helping kids,” Suliman said. “She started to sponsor an orphan ever since.”
Darwish sponsors an orphan girl who is about 9. Sending the orphan $30-$60 every month and sending gifts when holidays come up.
“I don’t like talking about it,” Darwish said. “I feel like good deeds should go unnoticed. It’s between you and your faith, and you and your good conscience.”
Darwish hopes that someday she’ll be able to meet the child in person.
When looking to the future, Darwish dreams of being a lawyer. Originally her parents had hopes of her becoming a doctor, but Darwish soon learned she didn’t enjoy all the math and science. Becoming a lawyer would provide her with a job she’d be passionate about and enough money to keep her and her family comfortable.
Thoughts of college leave her battling to find a major. Business? Econ? Should she just dive right into politics and government?
Another thing she’s been considering was going into journalism.
“I think that this would specifically benefit me,” Darwish said. “Like if I had a news article or had a choice of writing, I could spread the word a bit better… And that’s mainly the most you can do being Palestinian. I think, just informing people what’s happening, asking for understanding and donating to charity. That’s the most you can do from way over here.”
She hopes one day she’ll have college all figured out, with a law school lined up. She wants to fulfill what her parents might have imagined their daughter would be like: independent, strong and smart. She also hopes that when she’s older, she can say she is proud of who she is more than ever.
