Logan Murphy has no idea what he’s doing
By Logan Murphy, writer
I have a confession: I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m a Junior at Bethel and still don’t know anything about this place. A friend asked me to meet them at Heritage, and I had no idea where it was. I worked in the Bethel IT department for three years and still have no idea how to connect to Eduroam. Who decided to name the different building with two letters. Like how am i supposed to remember the difference between the RC, BC, AC and HC.
I feel like I’m out of the loop on things that are “cool”. I wear socks and sandals. My clothes never match. I don’t own Air Force Ones, Gucci or wear a chain. My wardrobe consists of the Old Navy clearance rack and American Eagle joggers and sweatshirts. I don’t understand what’s wrong with that. I don’t understand why Charlie Demillio is popular. How and when you use the word Sheesh. I looked it up in the dictionary and it says that it signifies everything from bragging, to cringe, to excitement! Sheesh!!???
I never untie my shoes. I just shove my feet in. I check in my closet before I get into bed on the off chance that someone is hiding down there waiting to kill me. I won’t eat with a spoon that looks dirty, even if it just had a watermark on it from the dishwasher. I have subscriptions to three different streaming services but barely use them. I’m a mess.
I live in Iowa and don’t even know the difference between regular corn and the corn we feed cows. If you ask me about any Iowa city besides a city around the Des Moines area, I will not know where it’s at. I don’t know how to farm and I haven’t driven a tractor to school.
I consider cereal one of the main food groups. I refuse to eat seafood and struggle sitting next to someone who is eating seafood. The last time I had seafood was in second grade when I puked up a school shrimp popper. Sheesh!
