4 Reasons Why You Can Learn To Unlearn — And What It Means If You Do
Growth is not (always) linear.
We’re wired to experience life in ways that allow us to reinforce our very ways of being, our sense of who we are, and what makes us.
It is not with ease, and certainly not often, do we pause to question what we have learnt all along;
Not to affirm if we have learnt it right or wrong;
But to simply understand if we might learn it differently.
Sometimes, learning also requires us to unlearn a lot of what we don’t cast a speck of doubt on — and it is when we do that, that we begin to understand how we are capable of misguiding our own sense of clarity.
So here are 4 reasons why learning to unlearn can benefit you.
1. To Break Your Own Expectations
We create expectations based on the thought patterns that guide us into them.
However, being aware that our expectations are not obligated to us, is critical to being open to new experiences.
And we can only be open to new experiences when we are open to unlearning our older expectations.
Our learned expectations are capable of holding us back from broadening our horizons — and consequently, from adopting new perspectives that allow us the space to unlearn what keeps us shackled.
In the words of Henry Miller:
“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.”
If we can dare to break our own expectations, we can dare to break from who we haven’t been all along — only to step into who we are capable of becoming.
2. To Let Go Of Patterns That No Longer Work For You
We are indeed a product of the patterns we nurture.
The same patterns that are (have been) healthy for us at some point, are capable of turning unhealthy for us, with time and changes in circumstances;
And that’s only natural — it is a signal for us to evolve, not to fight it.
Being open to unlearning those patterns is the only way through to evolving those patterns in a way that begin to serve us — and consequently evolving ourselves too.
It is not with ease that these patterns can be unlearnt;
For they require us to unlearn our identity — a part of us that we define ourselves with;
But if we don’t outgrow older versions of ourselves, who will?
If we don’t take it upon ourselves to adapt, who are we really kidding?
We can only reciprocate back to the world healthily, if we choose what’s healthy for us — and sometimes, that choice is in letting go of patterns that no longer work for us, so that we can step into the ones that do.
3. To Act Instead Of Assuming
As much as we’d have ourselves convinced that we’d rather learn and then act, what we can truly benefit from is by acting on something and then learning from it.
As Barbara Baron said:
“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take action. Take action and your feelings will change.”
Our assumptions get too far in our way to actually do something;
It’s not that those assumptions fade with time;
Rather they only solidify and give us more reasons to justify them.
Learning to unlearn our assumptions allow us to unlearn being too much into our heads, and consequently learning to step into reality — a reality that offers us a new-found perspective.
4. To Diversify Experiences
What is life, but a collection of experiences?
It is not about unlearning our experiences altogether;
But about unlearning our fixated ideas of such experiences so that we can relearn them in a new light.
And it is also not only about relearning our older experiences;
Rather about opening ourselves up, to many new ones.
Everything is dependent on context, and as much as we’d crave a universal truth, it is only data when applied to a specific context, that can help us make meaning of it, in any given moment;
And this is why it is our responsibility to expand our experiences in as many ways as we can, so that we are constantly learning, unlearning, and relearning.
Ultimately, learning to unlearn (anything) humbles us into being accepting of who we have been — so that we can get closer to who we need to be, one step at a time.
It is in realizing our own insignificance, that we can rise to create our own significance;
It is only when we question everything that we are so sure of, that we see through the reasons why we can (or need to) break from them.
Growth isn’t (always) linear;
For it is a constant back and forth between undoing and redoing ourselves.
Yes, it is rather convenient to process information in black and white, and while sometimes that indeed is possible — at times, it is on us how we best make meaning of the greys as well.
Unlearning does mean you’re taking a step back, but only to step forward with space for the new to learn — and that’s why you can learn to unlearn first.
