How I Avoid the Shallow Trap of Superficial Self-Improvement
From surface level to deep, lasting change
You’ve been hustling, working hard, and trying to improve yourself, but are you doing it right? Is it genuine, or just for the ‘gram?
I’ve struggled with these same questions again and again.
Along the way, I’ve fallen prey to the sinister snare of superficial self-improvement. I’ve wallowed at the bottom of the bottomless pit. I’ve wrestled with the demons of victimhood, justification, and self-fulfilling prophecy.
In doing so, I’ve found a few foolproof tips to enhance my life in a meaningful way.
Personal growth can be a trap or a trampoline — what’s it going to be?
Superficial Self-Improvement: What Is It?
It’s the end of December, and suddenly, all those unopened self-help books on our shelves seem to be mocking us with their glossy covers and never-ending optimism.
You vow to be better this year, but by February, you’re back to eating Cheetos in bed while binge-watching cat videos (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
Cat videos rock.
Superficial self-improvement is the fine art of pretending to change while staying exactly the same. It’s like putting a shiny new coat of paint on a broken fence and pretending it’s brand new.
There, I said it.
You could also explain superficial self-improvement like this:
- Planting a Plastic Flower — Superficial self-improvement is like planting a plastic flower in your garden and hoping it will bloom. It might look like a real flower from a distance, but up close, it’s obviously fake. It doesn’t grow or change, and it doesn’t bring the joy and satisfaction that come from nurturing a real plant. Similarly, superficial self-improvement might look like progress on the surface, but it doesn’t bring about real, lasting change or the satisfaction that comes from genuine self-improvement efforts.
- Putting a Band-Aid on a Broken Arm — Imagine you break your arm, and instead of going to the doctor to get a proper cast, you just slap a Band-Aid on it. Sure, you can tell your friends you’ve done something about your broken arm, but it doesn’t address the real issue, and it certainly doesn’t heal the injury. That’s what superficial self-improvement is like. It’s addressing a deep, complex issue with a quick, surface-level solution that ultimately doesn’t help and might even make things worse.
- Rearranging Deck Chairs on the Titanic — This analogy is often used to describe futile efforts in the face of an impending catastrophe. In the context of superficial self-improvement, it’s like trying to make yourself better by focusing on trivial things while ignoring the major issues in your life. It might give you a temporary feeling of control or progress, but it doesn’t address the deeper issues that really need your attention.
Why It Even Matters
Now that we’re clear on what superficial self-improvement is, let’s talk about why it’s a big deal.
Basically, it’s the equivalent of trying to fill a swimming pool with a teaspoon. Sure, you might be able to make it look like you’re improving, but it won’t actually get you anywhere.
And who has time for that?
Life’s too short to waste on shallow endeavors that don’t really bring you any fulfillment or joy. Let’s avoid it like the plague and focus on the real deal.
Let’s move from superficial to real growth that lasts.
My 3 Tips for Real Growth and Change
These are not the only tips or tools that work.
But these are three tips that have worked like gangbusters for me in vastly different areas of my life:
- Building my blogging empire
- Training and then running a half-marathon (currently using the same tactics to train for my first full marathon next year)
- Language learning (I’m studying French)
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” — George Bernard Shaw
Tip 1: Be Brutally Authentic
One of the main reasons why people tend to fall into the trap of superficial self-improvement is because they’re not really being true to themselves.
That is why my first tip is to be authentic. When you’re considering a new self-improvement strategy, ask yourself: “Is this something I really want, or am I just doing it because it’s trendy?” If it’s the latter, then it’s time to reevaluate.
Don’t get caught up in the “shoulds” of life.
Just because everyone else is doing goat yoga doesn’t mean you have to as well. Maybe you’d prefer to focus on perfecting your cooking skills or volunteering at your local animal shelter. Be true to yourself, and you’ll find that self-improvement will come naturally, without feeling forced or inauthentic.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What do I really want?
- What do I need to do to get there?
- How long will it take?
- What will I need to give up?
- What will I need to say “no” to?
- Am I willing to make the necessary sacrifices to make it happen?
If you can honestly answer these questions and are willing to do the hard things your goal requires (without excuses), you are on the right track.
Growth is rarely easy or comfortable.
Tip 2: Use Tim Ferris’ #1 Productivity Life Hack
Tim Ferriss, the renowned productivity guru, knows a thing or two about getting stuff done.
He recently shared an Instagram post with 30 productivity hacks. The number one hack on the list is not some fancy app or a convoluted time-management technique.
It’s simple.
“The best productivity app on your phone is called airplane mode (use it).” — Tim Ferris Reposting from @LibraryMindset
In a world that’s constantly buzzing with notifications, texts, calls, and endless social media updates, the simplest way to boost your productivity is to eliminate these distractions altogether.
By turning on airplane mode, you effectively cut off the constant stream of digital interruptions that can derail your focus and productivity.
Here’s an example.
You’re working on a big presentation for work. You’re in the zone, ideas are flowing, and you’re making good progress. But then your phone buzzes. It’s a text from a friend about weekend plans.
You reply quickly, but then you see an email notification.
It’s a sale at your favorite store. Before you know it, you’ve spent 30 minutes on your phone, and you’ve lost your momentum on the presentation. Now, imagine the same scenario, but this time you’ve put your phone on airplane mode.
The text and email don’t interrupt your flow, and you finish the presentation in record time. That’s the power of this simple productivity hack. By eliminating the distractions that come with a constantly connected device, you free up mental space and energy to focus on the task at hand.
The big lesson is to remove all time-sucks and distractions so that you can harness the full power of your attention and focus on your goal.
Tip 3: Plan for Messy Days
Plan for what to do when things go wrong.
Think of all the reasons that could keep you from achieving your goal. Write them down. Then brainstorm ways around them. Don’t wait until it rains to buy an umbrella.
Things always go wrong.
Prepare for the worst-case scenario. What if your power goes out, you get sick, and your car breaks down? Get a plan b, c, d, and e down on paper. Outsmart catastrophe. Think four moves ahead of bad luck.
Make your own damn luck.
For example, let’s say your goal is to run a half-marathon. You’ve got a training schedule laid out, but what if you get sick? What if the weather turns bad? What if your running shoes fall apart?
By anticipating these potential obstacles, you can plan for them.
You might decide to have a backup indoor workout for bad weather days or identify a local track that’s always open. You might invest in a quality pair of running shoes and have a backup pair ready.
If you get sick, you might have a plan for how to adjust your training schedule to make up for lost time.
By having backup plans B, C, D, and E ready to go, you’re less likely to be derailed by unexpected setbacks. This approach not only helps you achieve your goals but also builds resilience and adaptability, which are invaluable life skills.
In Conclusion
We’ve all been tempted by the allure of superficial self-improvement at some point in our lives, but it’s important to remember that true self-improvement comes from within.
Be authentic, embrace the journey, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself along the way. Trust me, you’ll be a better, happier, and more fulfilled person for it.
And hey, if all else fails, there’s always goat yoga.
