How to Convince Someone You’ve Changed
Disagreements are part of life, as are mistakes. And sometimes those issues can involve deep resentments that make it extremely difficult for someone you’ve hurt to believe that you have changed. In those cases, you cannot be passive about convincing them you have learned, grown, and become better.
Your starter: A heartfelt apology
An apology opens the door for another person to take a second look at the situation. But is far more than simply saying “I’m sorry” because that’s what society expects to fall from your mouth. To make it effective, you must demonstrate that you genuinely understand why what happened was hurtful, considering the perspective and experiences of the other person. The person you hurt is not obligated to accept your apology immediately — they are entitled to work through their feelings on their schedule. So let them know you get it and are remorseful. Then make it clear that they can come to you on their terms.
Questions are your friend
Once you’ve apologized, remember that your perception of what the other person needs from you can be biased or based on incomplete information. So don’t assume you know best. Be blunt and ask them directly but respectfully what will help the most, what they’re thinking, or what they plan to do. This helps show…
