[read while listening to: https://soundcloud.com/laraberg]
If you are like most of the parents I know, you feel guilty. It’s what we do.
Whether your guilt is about not enough time with the kids, too much time with the kids, not enough money, too much money, hovering incessantly, or being too laid back, you are worried you aren’t doing the right thing by your kids in some way.
Just the fact that you are worried about it tells me, you are an awesome parent. Bad parents don’t worry that they are being bad parents, they just are bad and don’t care.
And, at the same time, I know you’d appreciate a super quick, effective and pain-free way to remove the guilt and start really feeling great about the parent you are to your kids.
Plus, bet you’d love to make sure your kids know exactly how much you love them, no matter what (even if they are at that age where they are screaming they hate you.)
Kids’ who grow up feeling loved live better lives. They are better parents themselves, more successful, happier and contribute to the world more. (I was going to look up a bunch of sites about this to link to, but you already know that, right? If not, please press the little plus sign to the right of the paragraph and disagree publicly. I’m curious.)
I’ve seen it again and again and been frequently surprised by how much a child who feels loved can overcome.
Broken marriages, early death of parents, even being given up for adoption, each of these circumstances could lead to trauma, feelings of abandonment, persistent anxiety and fear.
People who experience these challenges without a full experience of love will have a harder time in life, be less able to maintain relationships and tend to do less well in their careers.
If a child feels loved through these exact same circumstances, truly and thoroughly loved and accepted, he doesn’t just survive them, he thrives.
He takes the hard times and turns them into teachings. He is a joy to be around because he is so in service to life itself. He is loved by all because he knows the love of his parents.
Loving your children so well that they become good people in the process is what makes life really matter, right?
Knowing you’ve parented your kids well and left them well-prepared for the future — safe, secure and full of self-love.
Is there really anything more important than that?
But what have you done to prepare for the day you can’t be there for them?
It’s not a pleasant topic, I know.
It used to frighten me to paralysis when I thought about it. Because I didn’t know what to do to make it okay. I love my children so much I couldn’t bare to think about them living on after me because I couldn’t envision who would care for them like I do.
I knew that if I didn’t make the decisions for my kids care, a Judge would make them for me.
I knew it wouldn’t be what I wanted and my kids would be left wondering – “why didn’t mom care enough to take care of the things that really matter?”
Day after day the Courts process cases of families who have lost a loved one and now it’s left up to the overworked, underpaid, harried and hurried Judge to make the critical decisions you’ve struggled with yourself, and to do so with limited or no information.
Decisions such as who will be the guardian of the children left behind, who will make financial decisions for the family until all children have become adults and who will take care of ensuring it’s all done well are left up to a stranger who doesn’t know you, love you, or really even care about you.
When you decide and document who will raise your kids if you can’t, who will make financial decisions for them and how you want them to be raised, you know you are doing the right thing by your children.
They know it too.
You are sending the message to your children that they can feel secure and confident, even if current circumstances are not ideal, they are loved.
Making decisions for your kids care if something happens to you and getting clear on the kind of beliefs you want them to take into the world if you aren’t there to raise them makes you a better parent. Period.
Not just in the future, or after you die, but now.
Yes, the simple act of planning for your death can make you a better parent now.
When you clarify the way you want your children raised and the beliefs you want them to carry into the world, you naturally begin to be more conscious about your relationship with your children. Immediately. You won’t be able to help it.
It changes the way you parent. You relax more. You react less. You know how to be the kind of parent you want to be because you’ve defined it.
So more kids feel loved and become the kind of humans we all like to be around who will leave the world a better place.
It’s a game-changer. And it all starts with you.
Name guardians for your kids. (Here’s a place you can name legal guardians for free. Plus, the site guides you to choose the right people.)
Tell your kids how much they mean to you. Words are great. Letters are better. Recordings, the very best.
Let them know they will always be loved and cared for, no matter what.
You’ll change the world, when you do.
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