How Emoticons Will Get You Laid

I will tell you the secret to communicating more effectively.

So you like getting laid, right? Yes, so does everyone else. How will emoticons get you laid you ask? I’m about to tell you, but first I need to walk you through why we live in a world where emoticons will get you laid.

These look strangely familiar to emoticons…

Remember when you learned about hieroglyphics in school? That’s right, those pretty drawings and symbols the Egyptians were using as far back as 3200 BC. Those were pretty sweet; too bad we don’t get to use them anymore, right?

WRONG!

We are starting to use hieroglyphics again, and it’s awesome. It’s solving major problems in the way we communicate.

Go watch any teenager text on their phone, or hang out on reddit, or post on Tumblr. The next generation isn’t writing each other emails, sending postcards, or calling each other on the phone. No, they are almost entirely communicating with emoticons, memes, stickers, and photos. Images and shapes that translate to complex thoughts and emotions but are faster and easier to communicate and comprehend. This is the future of communication.

A small handful of emoticons regularly used in Japan.

What. Is. Happening.

Wondering why this is the future of communication (and of course, more importantly, how it’s going to get you laid)? I will explain this to you right now.

These are called “Rage Faces” and are typically combined with short sentences / stories.

1. We simply need more efficient ways to communicate so we can talk to more people. Because of the internet we are now consistently communicating with more people than ever before in human history. Soon it will not be uncommon for people in retirement homes to have 100k+ followers online.
2. It is extremely difficult — if not impossible — to interpret someones’ tone when they are communicating purely with text. Ever had someone text you something and you couldn’t tell if they were being serious or sarcastic? Yeah, me too. That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Emoticons, pictures, and stickers add emotional context — sometimes so complex we don’t even have names for them.

I was hesitant to start blogging. Would anyone like my posts? You guys have blown me away with how positive you have responded. I <3 you guys.

So here’s the truth of the matter. Communicating without emoticons, memes, stickers, and photos is like communicating with no emotion or tone. Would you ever talk to someone with a bag over your head hiding your facial expressions? Hell no, that’s weird. It doesn’t work.

Snapchat is an iPhone app for sending pictures+text that expire back and forth with friends.

If you want to have better relationships with the people you talk to digitally, start using emoticons, memes, sticker, and pictures NOW! Get like the teenagers! Because, guess what? If you are a swell enough person, these cute little images will even get you laid :P

If you found value in this article, it would mean a lot to me if you hit the recommend button.

I use this emoticon on Facebook EVERY SINGLE DAY! MAYBE EVEN EVERY 10 MINUTES! I DON’T KNOW I’M NOT COUNTING :P

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Note for my Product People out there: If you are designing social products please consider including this style of communication in your application — it’s what the people want!

Note for Marketing People out there: If you are a marketing person you should be including this concept into your marketing strategies.

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