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How to Have a Supportive Conversation
What to say when someone is struggling and nothing seems to work
I work as an individual counselor, so I don’t see families or couples very often. But, when I do schedule a family or couple’s session, it is typically for one reason — to help teach loved ones ways to support my client.
Every human has their default method for supporting loved ones during times of distress. The most common defaults I see are reassurance, relating, dismissing, or silence. None of these are inherently “bad” responses but they typically result in the person in distress feeling invalidated.
However, there are easy ways to shift your language, so your response is received in a supportive and validating way. The following steps can help transform your support to be received by your loved ones, even on their worst days.
3 Things to Do When a Loved One is Struggling
- It is important to ground yourself before approaching your struggling loved one.
Research in neuroscience shows us that your emotional connection to your loved ones allows you to also be your loved one’s regulator. When you are near your loved one who is in distress, your own state of calmness can be transferred to your loved one simply because…
