How to Know You’re Delivering Value

“Status symbols” should only come (if at all) as a semi-accidental byproduct of doing work that blows people’s socks off.

“All status symbols are tiny things. LIFE is a big thing. I stay focused on the big things. The big thing in life is to focus on providing more value to people than they expect. The rest comes then.” — James Altucher

The first time I was ever mentioned in a newspaper, it felt like I was famous. A taste of fame, as they say. I was a celebrity in my own mind for a split second. The result of this “fame” was a momentary ego-boost, a quick rise in my sense of self-worth, self-esteem, self-importance. I felt, thanks to the validation from some local media outlet, like I was valuable.

What’s funny is that now (a decade or so later) not only do I not remember the newspaper, but I don’t even remember what the article was about. Clearly whatever it was highlighting must not have been as valuable as being in the press made me feel it was at the time, or else I’d remember more about it.

I just finished Marc Ecko’s book, Unlabel: Sell Yourself without Selling Out, in which fashion mogul Marc Ecko describes his experiences with what he calls “gatekeepers” and “goalkeepers.” Most people obsess over gatekeepers: press, critics, peers, handlers, agents, and haters. They let the gatekeepers’ irrelevant opinions of their work obstruct their path, rather than focusing on the opinions that matter, those of the goalkeepers. The goalkeepers are the ones who actually determine your success—they’re the customers, the users, the beneficiaries, the readers, the viewers, the listeners. The goalkeepers—not the gatekeepers—are the ones who actually tell you what you’re doing is valuable. And they don’t even need to tell you with words—they tell you with their actions, by buying your products, using your apps, and engaging with your content. They’re the ones you aim to please, not the gatekeepers.

But for whatever reason, we keep externalizing our sense of self-worth to the gatekeepers. We’re validation-addicts looking for a fix, and the best fixes seem to come from gatekeepers we secretly want to impress. It takes practice to mute the gatekeepers and amplify the goalkeepers. It takes practice to tune out the noise and focus on what matters.

For gatekeepers who aren’t engaged with your product, it’s easy to make remarks because their skin and soul aren’t in the game with you. They’re not in the arena, marred by dust and sweat and blood. They’re just making comments in passing — they’re not even connected. They’ll forget what they said in a few weeks, whether it was good or whether it was bad. But you won’t. So why don’t you? Why can’t you tell your ego to stop salivating and acknowledge that your addiction is distracting you from what matters: delivering value to the people you care about.

Since that first media mention a decade ago, my relationship to the media has only grown. In fact, being in the media all the time is now part of my job. If I were to freak out every time my work is mentioned in the news I’d be in some kind of rehab. So instead, I now view media (all of it: social media likes and follows, paid outlets, major papers and stations) as a tool to serve the goalkeepers. It helps our organization spread awareness about a cause that matters to me, and it’s a skill I get to practice just like any other skill (coding, sales, accounting, cello, boxing, etc.). And there’s nothing more fulfilling than driving outcomes and adding value for people you care about while improving at a challenging craft.

So forget the gatekeepers, focus on adding value for the goalkeepers, and enjoy the ride. “Status symbols” should only come (if at all) as a semi-accidental byproduct of doing work that blows people’s socks off.

Ted Gonder is a social entrepreneur on a mission to even the odds for future generations. Click here to subscribe to quarterly updates, useful links, and lessons learned.