How To Make Any Person Open Up and Feel Deeply Connected to You

Everything I learned from analyzing my relationships for 6 months

Julia Horvath
Oct 22, 2019 · 18 min read
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Photo by Kevin Laminto on Unsplash

“Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something.”

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The Two Conditions

1. You need to be ready for this

2. You have to use this for the good

The Holistic Benefits of Deep Human Connection

The Mindset and Stages of Emotional Connection

Prerequisite: Adopt a Genuine Mindset of Being Non-Judgmental

Stop the superficial first

Think of your worst 15 minutes before judging strangers

Question your story about that person

How To Make Anyone Open up to You

Step 1: Establish a space for a private talk

Step 2: Open up, be vulnerable, and share your own mess

Step 3: Don’t be afraid of asking intimate questions

The Four Components of Deep Connection

“Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. And those who learn to listen are the most loved and respected.”

— Richard Carlson

Component 1: Listening

Component 2: Hearing

Component 3: Understanding

“The other person is always right.

Always right about feelings.

About the day he just experienced.

About the fears (appropriate and ill-founded) in his life.

About the narrative going on, unspoken, in his head.

About what he likes and what he dislikes.

You’ll need to travel to this place of ‘right’ before you have any chance at all of actual communication.”

— Seth Godin

Component 4: Validating

What if you just don’t get it?

What if you have no idea what the other person is going through?

What if you feel annoyed by the other person’s problems?

Putting It All Together

The Long-Term Results and How You Can Start Creating Deeper Connections Straight Away

“Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.”

— Brené Brown

Better Humans

Better Humans is a collection of the world's most…

Julia Horvath

Written by

I run The Self-Letter: 1 weekly email with powerful ideas to help you get to know yourself better and cultivate self-awareness.💡✨ linktr.ee/juliho

Better Humans

Better Humans is a collection of the world's most trustworthy writing on human potential and self improvement by coaches, academics, and aggressive self-experimenters. Articles are based on deep personal experience, science, and research. No fluff, book reports, or listicles.

Julia Horvath

Written by

I run The Self-Letter: 1 weekly email with powerful ideas to help you get to know yourself better and cultivate self-awareness.💡✨ linktr.ee/juliho

Better Humans

Better Humans is a collection of the world's most trustworthy writing on human potential and self improvement by coaches, academics, and aggressive self-experimenters. Articles are based on deep personal experience, science, and research. No fluff, book reports, or listicles.

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