Relationships

How to Receive Judgment with Grace

Lessen the sting and find the middle ground between casting judgmental people off altogether and hiding in the sand

All illustrations by the author

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl

Shortly after Valentine’s Day 2019, I fell in love with an incarcerated man. I was elated. Micheal was everything I wanted in the man I knew I’d marry: compassionate and witty with a great smile to boot. But whenever I spoke about my relationship — eager for support and acceptance — even my most open-minded acquaintances reacted with

… concern.

I remember the first time I opened up about my jailhouse romance. I’d joined Olivia, a close childhood friend, for pedicures in the upper-middle-class suburb of our youth. She dipped her size-9 model feet in the tub of warm water and placed a copy of Vogue magazine atop her lap. I launched into how I’d recently reconnected with Micheal — a longtime friend and former coworker now incarcerated at the county jail.