Love Is a Choice: 5 Stoic Principles I Use to Recover from a Breakup

Life is too precious to play the victim and be stagnant.

Photo by Azrul Aziz on Unsplash

I didn’t expect her to break up with me. Especially not via a What’s App message.

I didn’t understand it at first, but she was serious.

I tried to make sense of her accusations by analyzing them. During the five days that followed, my science brain couldn’t rest.

I scrolled through our WhatsApp conversations, which were primarily playful and full of love for each other. I pulled out my diaries from the past three years and tried to figure out where I could have been a better girlfriend.

I wanted to discuss my point of view with her, but she refused.

She didn’t even want to tell me how long she’s been thinking about breaking up.

Remembering the Stoic Virtues

Stoicism is a philosophy and a way of life that I try to embody. Founded by Zeno of Citium in Athens around 304 BC, stoicism centers around the idea that external events do not make us happy or unhappy but rather our feelings about these events.

However, contrary to popular belief, stoicism is not about being emotionless. Instead, it is about handling your…