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Stop the Drama Triangle from Running Your Life
How to choose to live in presence instead of living in drama.
There’s an increasing focus on presence-based leadership and being present as human beings. I find a lot of meaning in the idea of presence — heck, it’s literally part of my full-time job as a coach — but I also find it sometimes hard to define. I find it’s easier to think about what it’s not. More specifically, there’s one thing that robs us of presence most: drama.
One of my favorite tools to understand and diagnose drama is something called the drama triangle. Also called the Karpman triangle, the drama triangle was originally applied to group dynamics and the natural conflict that seemed to unfold in a predictable pattern. After I learned about the drama triangle, I couldn’t stop seeing that pattern everywhere! Here’s what it is:
There are three roles in any triangle: the hero (or rescuer), the villain (or persecutor), and the victim. Imagine the common scenario of an employee complaining to a colleague about their boss. They might say something like, “I don’t understand this new policy; I honestly don’t know how she expects me to fill out a…
