Liz Sumner
Aug 3, 2016 · 2 min read

This week I launched a revamp of my website and a brand new giveaway e-book. This is an exciting change of focus for me and I’m raring to go. I’m sparking like an Italian electrical outlet with ideas for programs and content to offer. Am I writing them? No.

All I want to do is check email and Facebook to see if there has been a response. I’m making deals with myself– two more paragraphs and then you can look again.

This is not productive.

I have this belief that if I can truly let it go THEN the good things happen. The pot boils. The phone rings. The client signs.

I remember one time on a lake with my sister. When we silently stared at our motionless rods in the water and willed the fish to bite nothing happened. Instead, when we started purposefully chatting about nothing at all we got all kinds of action. It was as though the fish were waiting for us to stop paying attention.

So how do you let go of something you’re waiting/hoping for? How do you tell yourself it doesn’t matter when it really does? Telling me not to think about it is like saying, “Don’t think about hippopotamuses.” It can’t be done.

In actuality, it’s not the desire you’re letting go of, it’s the obsessiveness. The white-knuckled death grip. The lack of trust in the process.

When it gets this bad it’s best to remove the temptation.

  • Leave the computer, the smartphone. Go into nature. Do physical work or exercise to get out of your head.
  • Ask trusted colleagues for help — for distraction, for a sane perspective. Laugh at yourself.
  • Shift your focus to something equally compelling– a hobby or art project. Cooking. Or something mindless that needs doing like weeding or ironing.
  • Be of service to someone else– always the best solution to feeling sorry for yourself.

For me an obsession just has to run its course. Like a stomach bug. You have to pass a certain amount of time before your sanity returns.

Are we there yet?

Better Humans

Better Humans is a collection of the world's most trustworthy writing on human potential and self improvement by coaches, academics, and aggressive self-experimenters. Articles are based on deep personal experience, science, and research. No fluff, book reports, or listicles.

Liz Sumner

Written by

Living in a palazzo in central Italy, singing with a jazz band whenever possible, and coaching women who want to start valuing themselves more.

Better Humans

Better Humans is a collection of the world's most trustworthy writing on human potential and self improvement by coaches, academics, and aggressive self-experimenters. Articles are based on deep personal experience, science, and research. No fluff, book reports, or listicles.

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