Recently, I blogged about my experience of adopting and then losing a cat. It became kind of a big thing. Now it’s blowing over, and I have a lot of feelings about the whole “going viral” process. So here are 10 things people don’t tell you about having your story go way, way out there.

1. You Get What You Ask For

Sometimes you sit down and think “I’m going to tell the world!” Then you publish to your blog and you tell your friends, and the people you interact with online, and you ask them to share your link.

And suddenly they are.

And then friends of friends are sharing.

And then friends of friends of friends.

And then strangers.

And a FB page you make to direct people for help and feedback become an entire awareness campaign that goes from 100 likes to 2,000 likes in a day.

And then your family members, people you’ve known for years, are calling you to tell you they heard about your story. And not from your Dad. They “heard about your story” the same way they “heard about that Blackfish documentary.”

At that point, I can honestly say the first thought on my mind was “what did I just do?” That’s just the beginning.

2. You Don’t Sleep. Or Eat. Or Breathe.

Once the train starts rolling, you’re along for the ride, and you don’t want to miss any stops. Every comment. Every share. Every tweet. Every social platform that comes to mind. Ten tabs are open and all of comments you’re reading are about you.

Suddenly the idea of sleeping becomes equivalent to the idea of giving up.

You have to answer questions. You have to follow up on suggestions. You have to take next steps. You have to keep people informed. You have to keep fighting, and 9am becomes 9pm, and sleep becomes something equivalent to just being unconscious for a few hours before returning to “fight the good fight.”

You’re on your phone in the bathroom. In the waiting line at the courthouse. Between meetings with people who you think can help you. Because every second is devoted to seeing if any shit has hit the fan.

And when you step away from your phone and computer and other people, you freak the hell out. It’s been 12 hours and you’ve only drank a small starbucks coffee. You have to call your grandmother, and what is grandma even going to say? Grandma is 80! But it doesn’t even matter what Grandma thinks because…

3. People Adopt Your Story as Their Story

When a story goes viral and really resonates with people, complete strangers will fight for you. Also, complete strangers will fight against you. And eventually, complete strangers are fighting over you. People on both sides are outraged, and someone absolutely positively must be right, and everyone is feeling the weight of what’s happening.

It’s one thing for your friends to come to your aid, engaging in facebook wars and laying out character testimonies in your name without a second thought. It’s another to watch someone who you’ve never met and are generations apart from join your “cause” unquestionably and take on trolls over something as straightforward as a blog post.

Even if you’ve been in a twitter/fb/forum war before, this is a full-scale internet battle. And you are the either the good guy or the bad guy to everyone. And that means…

4. Everyone Wants to Know the “Whole Story”

No matter how long you sit at the keyboard and read and re-read your original post, and update your FB with pictures and statements, everyone wants to know more.

The idea of “your side of the story” becomes a burden to prove and reinforce with any scrap of information in an attempt to make your case to the court of public opinion. The most insignificant of details begin to feel like giant revelations.

How old are you? What’s your full name? What’s your job? Is this selfie from 2 years ago part of the story? What aren’t you telling us?

There’s no real way to answer all of the questions. At the end you kind of just realize all you have is your side of what happened, and you have to stop putting out information yourself when you’ve reached the point of enough. At that point, people have to make their own judgements on what to say.

Which means…

5. Everyone Has Advice. Random, Random advice.

The point of your story going viral is that people are going to weigh in, and some of those people are not at all sane. Suggestions will range from legal action to physical violence to scolding your family members for giving you such poor advice.

Some resources come to you that are invaluable. You might get in touch with people you’d have never met without social pressure and probing. But they are sprinkled over the top of people suggesting you call every government agency under the sun, or go back to college and see about “getting a real job.” And when you follow that advice, you could end up on camera.

Oh, and…

6. When the Media Comes Knocking, You’re Scared to Say No

If someone from “the media,” e.g. a newspaper or a local news station, comes to your door, you’re almost scared to say “no.” You put a story out there, you said the truth, and clamming up would feels the absolute worst thing you can do at this point. So a cameraman is in your living room, asking you to tell the same story you told online, bringing the questions you’ve been seeing online right to your face for the whole world to consider.

And then the “other side of the story” has to be explored, and you sit and pray and hold on to see what you look like to the rest of the world when put through the very public news room camera lens. And the best possible outcome is that at the end of the night, you don’t look like a crazy person ripe for animated GIF creation.

Speaking of crazy escalation…

7. Conspiracy Theories About You Pop Up

You’re doing it for money. You’re doing it for attention. You’re doing it because you’re pathetic and you can’t become “famous” on your own. Some sort of scam is going on. Someone, somehow, is lying. Remember the KFC girl story? You’re that person.

Obviously, internet scams happen all the time. And that’s what makes it so stunning to watch people speculate on whether or not you’re telling the truth. “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it,” isn’t enough. Any and all proof, reason, and repetition of events, backwards and forwards, can be twisted. And clarifying intentions about any part of the story can always be dismissed with a simple “you’re lying.”

It’s like a roller-coaster, but luckily…

8. It Ends Pretty Quickly

Despite feeling like you’ve been put “on blast” for eternity, the entire “going viral” experience only lasts for a few days. By the time traditional media airs your story, it’s already over. You taped your side with a fervor for the news on Friday, but they air it on a Tuesday, when you’re beaten down, worn out, and all the comments have finally started to subside.

Even if people comment saying you’re dragging it out, it’s actually pretty much over at this point. Which is crazy when you realize that…

9. Some of Your Friends Won’t Even Know It Happened

Despite having people halfway around the world rallying to your cause, some of your friends won’t even know you’ve been having the craziest week of your life. And that conversation will be just as stunning as the reaction online…

“Dude. I’m a crazy cat lady.”

“Congratulations!”

“No. Haven’t you seen what’s happening?!”

“Nah, been a busy week.”

“Dude….(explains story)”

“Crazy shit.”

Yeah. Crazy Shit. Which brings me to my final realization…

10. It Feels Like a Trauma

As I finally sat on the phone with the kind of lawyer I needed, explaining how I wanted to drop things and just move on, he said to me, “that sounds pretty traumatizing.”

And it kind of is.

Trauma can be caused by a wide variety of events, but there are a few common aspects. There is frequently a violation of the person’s familiar ideas about the world and of their human rights, putting the person in a state of extreme confusion and insecurity. This is also seen when institutions are depended on for survival, violate or betray or disillusion the person in some unforeseen way. -Wikipedia on “Psychological Trauma”

The inability to sleep. The shock. The fear that something horrifying will happen if you stop fighting for even a second. The confusion about the escalation and questions others are posing to you. The severe guilt of dragging other people into the limelight with you. The sheer paranoia of hearing about yourself from people you’ve never even met. The shocking realization that it’s only been 48 hours since the whole thing started…

It’s an entire host of feelings so intense and oscillating it’s literally impossible to describe. Like cardio, but Hunger Games style.

And it’s a giant relief when the whole thing finally just dies down.

Also, my psychiatrist hugged me, and I don’t think they’re even supposed to do that. I believe that is officially the definition of trauma. When people who manage your medications are the ones who need hugs.