Please Stop Buying These Get Rich Quick Courses

Dirty marketing needs to stop

Source: pic via istock images

If I ever rent a Lamborghini, remind me to take a picture in front of it and sell a get rich quick course.

It’s always the same formula, isn’t it? A guy standing in a posh house (he rented) or in front of a library full of sports cars. He’s either totally blinged out in his suit or he’s wearing pajamas to reinforce the prize of his efforts.

This could be you, hombre. X-Men pajamas at noon on a Tuesday.

He’ll often be standing in his living room with a funny chart and graphs with generic platitudes as the variables.

X-Axis: Your potential.

Y-Axis: Your belief in yourself.

Result?

Arrow pointing up
Arrow pointing up
Author via iconsforfree

If all marketing was hell, these dudes would be in the very bottom rung. They’d be perpetually sneezing live fire ants on themselves.

I Nearly Worked for One of These Gurus

I’d just graduated from college and was scanning for marketing jobs.

I made the mistake of looking on Craigslist. I came across a position working for a guru. I don’t want to get sued so we’ll call it, “Sentient Millionaire.”

He was looking for someone to help him build out his Sentient Millionaire Program.

I was desperate for work so I did the interview and immediately got the heebie-jeebies. For starters, he was just a weird dude. Second, he didn’t get rich in a way that qualified him to sell this course.

He’d inherited a company from his dad when he was 23. He sold the company immediately, made millions of dollars. In the decades since, he hadn’t done anything substantive besides take sweet vacations.

The bottom line: this is the story for many of these courses. Legit millionaires are too busy making more millions or enjoying the millions they have to be juking kids for their money.

What Happens When You Buy a Course

Generally, it’s some version of this.

  1. You pay for the course and are added to a ‘this person is a sucker’ internal list.
  2. The course teaches you a framework and mindset to become a millionaire. There is no secret product or technology you are selling. It’s usually just generic philosophy and tips.
  3. Your path to money often involves affiliate marketing. This means using your “natural network,” which translates to ripping off friends and family (sounds like a great way to preserve those relationships).
  4. They’ll upsell you on an even more expensive package (see point number one).
  5. What the guru says in the commercials is very different than the contract you’ll sign. The contract basically says, “We promise you nothing.”

Expect what the contract promises.

Pro tip: everything you learn in a millionaire course is available on the internet for free.

The Single Greatest Irony of ‘Become a Millionaire’ Programs

These courses are famous for the same reason posts like “3 Extremely Small Habits That Will Change Your Life forever” go viral.

They seem to shorten the workload. It appeals to our laziness.

You are still capable of becoming very wealthy if you wish. In fact, you are probably more capable than you give yourself credit for. But you’ll inevitably stare down the barrel of one horrible, terrifying, inescapable truth: you’ll have to actually work hard.

What makes a millionaire course so ironic? Signing up usually makes you $199 further from becoming a millionaire. And then some.

Nobody reads a book and becomes a billionaire. And there are no “extremely small habits” that change your life.

Success and wealth are a process, a series of thousands of decisions that stack up.

The Dirtiest Part of These Marketing Tactics

They select for the least capable and able to become millionaires.

Since the inception of these “get rich” programs in the 1980s, it has attracted the less educated, the disadvantaged, the elderly, people who actually need that $199.

This demographic is also likely to lose even more money launching totally doomed businesses because of bad advice.

The Tai Lopezes of the world have genuinely hurt people. It’s amoral.

If I Really Knew How to Double My Profits in Two Days…

Here’s what outsiders often miss about business folk: they are very, very secretive. They don’t want employees talking or sharing any conversation outside of the office.

Why?

Because companies are copycats. You see it all over tech with derivative products. It goes all the way down to cell service providers:

  1. AT&T releases a new X Phone Plan.
  2. Two months later, T-Mobile has a near-identical Z Phone Plan.

If someone actually knew how to generate 1,000% returns, the absolute last thing in the world they’d ever do is sell how they do it. I’d guard the secret with my life.

Business Fact: Average returns drop as the number of entities selling similar services enter your market.

To make another analogy, if you actually had a tree that grew $100 bills, would you sell the seeds for a cheap price? Or even an expensive price? I’d hope not.

The reason: inflation is a massive threat to your business model.

One hundred trillion Zimbabwe dollar pill
One hundred trillion Zimbabwe dollar pill
Actual dollar bill caused by 230,000,000% inflation in Zimbabwe due to corruption and a collapse of their economy. It is worth 40 cents today in the US. (Source: CNN)

Most get rich quick schemes are a get rich quick scheme for the seller himself — I have yet to see a woman sell a course like this. Not sure what that says about us, fellas.

The Bottom Line

Successful careers are like healthy relationships. They aren’t always glamorous. There’s monotony and difficulty. Yet those who stick it out reap the greatest rewards.

Please stop buying the courses and giving these guys attention. What they’re selling is the equivalent of saying, “Don’t eat for a day, and you’ll be skinny for the rest of your life.”

It’s the dirtiest marketing possible. They prey on people’s insecurities and fears. They don’t care about their clients. They just want your money and legal protection from you.

Want to make great money? Get an education. Learn an in-demand skill that the market needs and you can reasonably enjoy delivering.

Then, begin the clockwork process of showing up on time, doing quality work, and maxing out those performance reviews.

The safest path to riches is incremental, walked honestly and on the back of hard work.

Written by

Quality over quantity. That guy from Quora. Enjoy? Follow for more. https://seanjkernan.substack.com/ Open to gigs seanjkernan@gmail.com

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